


together or apart

by findingvm



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: AU, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Divorce, F/M, Future, very angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 16:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 29,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15845259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/findingvm/pseuds/findingvm
Summary: "As she watched her daughter and her husband walk around the park, she couldn’t help but think back to the past year. Her decision to divorce Scott hadn’t come so easily."ORwhen Tessa files for divorce





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!!
> 
> So this fic was originally a fic that i had written for another fandom so the first 10 chapters are already written, i just need to revamp it somehow lol
> 
> This first chapter might be a bit boring because of the lack of dialogue but i promise it'll get better in the upcoming chapters!
> 
>  
> 
> Please, tell me what you think!!

Tessa Virtue made her way out of the building of the Bon Look headquarters, after having spent the last 3 hours working on yet another line of sunglasses, mainly. As she closed the heavy door behind her, she felt nothing but sadness. Being a buyer for a department store had always been her dream, and after retiring from competitive skating and spending 2 more years trying to get her degree, she finally had the chance to pursue it. She has been working as a buyer for the past 3 years now, and she loved her job more than anything. But she usually was looking forward to going home after a long day at work, reveling in the quiet of her home.

Today wasn’t different.

What _actually_ was different was the fact that she was not going straight home to her 3-year-old daughter and her husband; she was going to see her lawyer.

Filing for divorce.

As much as she knew that she had made the right decision, she couldn’t help but feel heartbroken about it. The man she loved above probably anything else, the man she has known for a little over 26 years and had married not even 2 years ago, was also the man she had decided to separate from. Scott Moir was and will always be her best friend and she will always love him for giving her the child she loved with everything in her. But this man was also someone who had become a stranger to her.

They had both decided that their career as ice dancers was coming to an end – their last Olympics felt like closure and there were no doubts in their minds when they decide to move on. Both chose different paths 5 years ago. Tessa working in that new company, and Scott coaching juniors at Gadbois _and_ in Ilderton when he could.

 They had both agreed that this was the best decision they had ever made, and it actually brought them closer together. Their unconditional love brought a beautiful girl into the world, surprising them both after only 2 years of dating. They got married the following year.

Olivia Moir was daddy’s girl through and through. Although she had Tessa’s coloring and her nose, her eyes and smile were all Scott. Her character and stubbornness were something she had inherited from her mother. When Scott coached at Gadbois, Livi would come with him most of the time, which made their bond was much stronger than hers and Tessa’s. It’s true what they say, a little girl is almost always closer to her dad than to her mother.

She was a very curious, smart little girl who always asked Scott questions he sometimes didn’t have answers for.

When she was born in August, 10 2020, Scott knew that everything he had achieved in the past – all the gold medals won, all the podium moments - didn’t come close to this. The birth of their daughter was the best day of his life, and he had spent the past 3 years thanking Tessa for the gift she had given him.

They lived a happy life, filled with love and away from all problems.

Until Tessa couldn’t do it anymore.

After their retirement, she thought they would have more time to themselves and that they finally would lead a normal life, as private as could be now that they weren’t in the public eye as much. After getting married, they decided to stop seeing their therapist, seeing as everything was going great in their relationship.

Tessa quickly realized that stopping therapy was the worst thing they could ever do to their relationship.

When he was not caring for Olivia, he’d spend his nights in his office, going through the video of his team training, over and over again, hoping he could find what was missing. That little spark that made the whole program perfect. Their time spent as a family was diminishing and Tessa was suffering from this, as she was so used to having Scott by her side all the time.

Their communication got worse and Tessa couldn’t find it in her to talk to him about her problems and insecurities.

Obviously, she understood the hard, demanding that being a coach required, but she still needed her husband with her when she came home after a long, exhausting day. He was away often with his team, so her time with him were quite short-lived.

This was impacting their marriage in the worst way and after trying to communicate with him in some way, she got tired of him being unresponsive to her threats and decided to spend time at her mother’s house – who had moved to Montreal just six months prior. As the days went on, she stayed there, her daughter seeing her mother more often than her father now.

At first, it didn’t really push Scott to try and change things because he thought that she would come back. He thought she understood. She always came back when they were working together, why not now? But after almost two weeks, he was beginning to question himself but realized it was already too late.

Two months later, Tessa had informed him about her will to get a divorce.

And now, almost 1 month later, she was about to meet with Scott again, with the presence of both their lawyers. They would discuss the custody of their child, the arrangements concerning the house they had built together and some other small, irrelevant stuff. The major problem was, Scott refused to sign the divorce papers. He wasn’t ready to let go and wanted to fight to keep his wife and child by his side. Tessa knew then that this was going to be hard. 

* * *

 

When she arrived at the meeting, Scott was already there. He, too, was waiting for his attorney, and was on the phone with someone. She sat on one of the benches that were just outside of the room they were supposed to meet in, and waited, purposely trying to ignore Scott’s insistent gaze. She finally looked up to him when she realized he was standing next to where she was sitting, holding out his phone to her.

She looked at the phone and then back up at him in confusion and questioned him with her eyes.

“Liv wants to speak with you,” he said with a gentle smile and Tessa couldn’t help but smile back at the mention of their child’s name.

She took the phone from him “Hi baby girl, are you being a good girl to Nancy?”

Tessa’s mother being out of town, they had to look for a nanny that lived not far away from their apartments and was free to look after Olivia.

“Yes! Playing with talulu!” the little girl said excitedly, and Tessa could picture her grinning and hugging her bunny.

“You are?” she grinned and looked up at Scott who was staring back at her, a small smile grazing the corner of his mouth.

“Oh that’s nice! Give talulu a kiss for me, okay?” she heard Scott chuckle and felt her heart constrict at the thought that this was soon going to end.

“Miss you mommy, and daddy too”

“We miss you too, baby. I will see you tomorrow okay? And you will see daddy tonight, I promise.”

“Wanna see you tonight too, mommy!” Again, she pictured her little girl pouting, her way to get to her.

“I know, I wanna see you too but you’ll have a great time with daddy, and hopefully he’ll read you a bedtime story and then when you wake up, I’ll be here okay?”

“Kay.”

Tessa let out a deep, long sigh. The most painful part of their divorce was the fact that this was going to hurt their child and confuse her deeply. But she knew that she was making the right choice, because she didn’t want Olivia to live in a home where unhappiness was lingering.

She quickly said her goodbyes and handed the phone back to Scott. As soon as the call ended, he was by her side again.

“You can come see her tonight, T, you know that. I think it would make her very happy. And I know you need it, too.”

Tessa shook her head and kept her glance down, staring at her hands. “No, we agreed on this, I’ll see her tomorrow.”

“I didn’t agree on anything. You chose to leave, not me.”

She looked up sharply, anger shining in her eyes.  “I would have never left you if you had been a better husband,” as soon as her words left her mouth, she winced. She didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh and regretted it when she saw the pained look on her face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.” She sighed.

“Yes, you did.” He got up and walked away, the corridor was long enough for them to not have to speak to one another.

As soon as he reached the end of the hallway, their attorneys both arrived together.

The judge arrived at last and the session could finally start. Tessa felt exhausting from her day and wanted for all of this to be over already. Although she was the one asking for a divorce, her heart wasn’t in it. She wanted to stay married to the man who had shared her dreams for longer than she could remember.

They both took their seats and the judge spoke up “We are here to discuss the arrangements concerning your separation. I’ll let your respective attorneys speak for this session.”

Evans spoke first, “My client and I would like to make a point in saying that he will not accept to sign the divorce papers. For personal reasons, Mr Moir would like to have a conversation with his wife to discuss this.”

Tessa looked at Scott, confused, not liking the fact that she was going to have to fight to get a divorce. She knew this could take so long when one refused to sign.

“What do you think you are doing, Scott?” she asked angrily, trying to keep her voice down in front of the judge.

“I told you. I’m not going to let you go so easily, Tess.”

“My client has agreed joined custody for the child Olivia Moir. The house will remain to Mr Moir’s care and my client will only ask for her own furniture.” Erin McDenn, Tessa’s attorney, spoke up, not caring about the requests.

Scott stood up suddenly and looked down at Tessa who stared back at him with wide eyes, silently asking him what the fuck he was doing.

“I’m sorry, I can’t talk about this until we’ve had our discussion, Tessa.”

“I warned you several times about this, don’t make it seem like I walked away all of a sudden.” Her tone was warning, she didn’t need this humiliation right now.

“I don’t care. I’m done here.” He took the divorce papers presented to him and tore them before walking away, not even caring to look back to see if Tessa or his lawyer was following him.

 Scott was feeding Olivia spinach mixed with chicken when they heard a knock at the front door.

Liv looked up at her father with hopeful eyes, her mouth covering his green “Mommy?”

He wiped the corner of her mouth and picked her up, “No, baby. Mommy is coming tomorrow.”

She pouted and laid her head onto his shoulder as he walked to the door to see who was interrupting their dinner. When he opened the door, he was surprised to see his favorite pair of eyes looking right back at him.

“Come on now, why is my baby girl pouting?” Tessa asked her daughter, who’s head perked up at the sound of her mother’s voice.

“Mommy!” she lunged forward. Tessa tried to not let her fall, and let her jump into her mom’s awaiting arms.

Tessa hugged her daughter to her body and placed a kiss to her temple, closing her eyes and breathing in her baby scent.

“See, daddy, I told you it was mommy” the little grinned at her father and wrapped her tiny arms around her mother’s neck, giving her a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

“Indeed, it was. Come on in, T.” He stepped away from the door to let her in and closed the door behind her.

“I’m not staying long. I just think we should talk.” She looked down to her daughter “As soon as she goes to bed.”

He nodded, embarrassed by his reaction back in the meeting.

“Come on, I was feeding her dinner. Did you eat?” he asked, walking ahead of her towards the kitchen.

It felt odd coming back to this house where she had lived and spent a majority time, filling it of her good memories. This was where her baby girl was born. This was a place they had built together, nothing could take that away.

“It will always remain your house, kiddo” he told her softly when he realized she was looking around, lost in her thoughts.

She broke from her reverie and looked at him, pleading with him to drop the subject for now.

She placed Olivia back in her high chair and gave her a spoon of spinach.

“It’s okay, have a glass of wine, I’ll finish feeding her.” He suggested.

“No, I’m alright, you go ahead and finish your dinner.” She said politely, smiling at her daughter who was expecting her next spoon of food.

Scott nodded mutely and resumed eating.

 ------

After bathing her and tucking her in bed, Scott walked out of Olivia’s bedroom. The little girl had fallen asleep almost immediately, tired from her day in the park with her nanny. He walked back to the living room and found his wife sitting on the couch, waiting for him.

He knew he was the one who wanted to have a proper discussion, but now, as he watched her, sitting anxiously and waiting for him to have a talk that would probably hurt feelings, he regretted his decision.

He cleared his throat and sat on the other side of the couch. Both were silent for quite some time, admiring the walls that suddenly sparked so much interest from the couple. This wasn’t the first time that something like this was happening. They were so used to sitting silence, the presence of each other being enough. The only difference tonight, was that this was not a comfortable silence. This silence was heavy and so unlike them.

Tessa sighed and kept her gaze on her lap, “Please, Scott, let’s just have this conversation, like you wanted us to so that we can get over with it.”

“Don’t do this, Tessa.” His voice was so low, nearing whisper that she almost didn’t hear his words. “Please.” He added.

“Scott, us separating isn’t coming out of nowhere. For months, I’ve asked you to stop being so engrossed in your work, spend some time with your family and you didn’t. I can’t live in a home where I’m unhappy.” She said, finally looking over at him. “And I don’t want our child to live in a place where her parents aren’t happy.”

He was hurt. His vows when they got married was to always keep her happy and be there for her for the rest of his life and he had broken these two important promises.

_“When I first met you kiddo- I mean Tessa,” they both chuckled “I was so sure that you were going to be better than me in skating and that all my buddies would laugh at me, that I didn’t see the amazing person that you actually were. It didn’t take me long though, and after only a few weeks of working with her, I knew I would never be able to live my life without her.”_

_Tears were already present in her beautiful, green eyes as he continued, feeling emotional himself._

_“I love you so much, T, and you deserve so much. I know that some people think I can’t make you happy because of our past,” he was referring to Sochi and she knew it, ‘but I will try my best and I will always make sure that you feel loved, protected and happy. I will give you everything you need in order to be happy, and I will do everything I can to make you smile like you are right now, because this is my favorite smile. I promise I won’t ever leave you.”_

“I don’t make you happy?” his voice cracked and his heart broke.

“You’ve always made me happy, Scott, even when I was mad as hell at you. But not lately. I came home to a absent husband.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments!
> 
> I do hope you will like this chapter 
> 
> xx

“I broke my promise, I promised to make you the happiest and that I would be there for you. I’m sorry, Tessa. You deserve the world.” She was surprised to see tears in his eyes when he finally looked up at her. “But I refuse to let you go without a fight. Come on, T, let me prove you that I can be a better husband. I promise I will do everything it takes to make you happy, again. That’s all my life is about; making you smile.”

“Scott, listen to me-“

“I don’t want to accept the fact that this marriage is coming to an end. We have so many projects together that still need to be achieved. Visit countries, teach Olivia to skate – as a family - enjoy nights by ourselves... have another child.”

When Tessa looked up again, her eyes were filled with tears.  _Why do I always bring her so much sadness,_ he thought.

“I want all of this, Scott. God, you have no idea how much I want and need this. But I don’t want us to fight for our couple, I don't wanna come back home and then have to leave again because you will have fallen back into your bad habits. This is not fair to Liv. How can you accept getting her hopes up, to see us as a family again, if we aren’t even sure we’re going to make it? I think about Olivia when I make hard decisions like this, she is my main priority.”

“She is mine, too.” He quipped, not liking what she was insinuating.

“I know, Scott. I know.”

“Then let’s just keep it secret, let me try hard for our couple and we don’t even have to tell her.”

“This is not a game, Scott.” She said angrily.

“Nothing that involves our couple and our child is a game to me, Tessa, give me a little credit.”

Tessa let out a deep breath, “You can’t change, Scott. Coaching is your whole life. And I wouldn’t even dare come between that because skating was once also my whole life”

“You two are my whole life, T. And I can change, I’d change anything for you.” He said in a serious tone.

“That’s not what I want, Scott. I don’t want to change anything about you. Everything about you, your passion for your work, your stubbornness, it’s why I fell in love with you. I just wish you realized how important it is to  _me_ to see my husband when I get home from work, to have him in my bed, lay down next to him, make love with him, fall asleep in his arms… I haven’t had any of this in months.”

“I’m sorry, T. I’m so sorry you feel that way. That was never my intention. You and Livi are my whole life.  So is this job but-”

Tessa chuckled humorlessly “That’s the problem. If I’m as important as your job, then that’s exactly the problem.” She got up and retrieved her purse.

“That’s not true and you know it. Let me at least finish my sentence.” he was losing his patience with every minute.

“This conversation is over. I’ve gotta go. I’ll come get Liv around noon. Please give her a kiss for me tomorrow morning.”

“Tess…”

“Good night.” She closed the door softly behind her and disappeared into the night. 

* * *

 

 “Hello, this is Tessa Virtue.” She said when her phone rang.

“Hey Tess, it’s Marie”

She hadn’t heard from her in quite a while, though they had stayed in touch and often met up.

“Marie, bonjour! How are you doing?” she said cheerfully.

“Good, I’m good! I miss you so much here, between your husband and mine, I’m going crazy,” she chuckled.

Tessa smiled although the pain from hearing the word husband pained her.

“Speaking of which, is Scott around maybe?”

“No, I haven’t seen him in a few days. Why, is everything okay?”

“Yes, yes of course. I just wanted to reach him because we need his opinion on something, and I tried his phone, but he is not answering so I was just wondering if you could just tell him to call me.”

“Sure, I’ll do that.” She assured him.

“Great, thank you.” She paused “How is Liv?”

She smiled at the mention of her daughter, her bundle of joy.

“She is doing great. Her dad is making her obsessed with hockey, so this is getting messy,” she chuckled.

“Oh, Scott. I guess I can now only count on you to raise this child in the most normal way possible,” Her words made her laugh and she nodded although she couldn’t see her.

“I’ll try my best,” she chuckled.

“Alright, I’ll leave you alone. Just tell him to call me as soon as he can, please. And give Olivia a kiss for me, would you.”

“Sure, I will definitely do that.” She smiled and hung up.

She turned to see her daughter walk out of her bedroom, rubbing her eyes, having just woken up from her nap.

“Hi mama, “the little girl said as she reached her mother and wrapped her arms around her when Tessa bent down.

“Did you have a good nap?” she asked, kissing her forehead and picking her up into her arms.

Olivia nodded and buried her face into her mom’s neck, still feeling sleepy. She always needed some time to fully wake up, probably something she had inherited from her mother this time.

Tessa kissed her head again and walked to the kitchen. “Marie says hi,”

“she comin’?” her eyes lit up, her gaze hopeful.

Ever since Tessa became pregnant, Marie-France and Patrice had been protective and caring when Scott was away with his junior team. When Olivia was born, they were always there for her family and both she and Scott had decided that Olivia would be blessed to have them as her godparents. This decision had surprised them a lot, but the happiness and gratefulness that radiated from their faces were priceless. Because of them, Olivia was now a spoiled child.

The little girl was hurting from their absence though. They also were swamped with work, especially Patrice, who was constantly on the move, sometimes on the other side of the globe.

“Not today, noodle, but I promise we will plan a day with them and Billie very soon, sounds good?”

Liv pouted but nodded. She wiggled out of her mother’s arms and walked back to the living room to play.

After weeks of staying at her mother’s house, she had finally found a great apartment, quite close to work and Olivia’s school so that she didn’t have to worry about the traffic in the early hours. Having a child didn’t suddenly make Tessa a morning person.

She fell in love immediately with the cosy place that was situated not quite in the centre of Montreal, but close enough to enjoy the city lights. As much as she enjoyed the quiet and homey feeling and as much as she was ready to make new memories with her daughter here, the idea of being alone, without Scott, frightened her. Not that she couldn’t take care of herself and Olivia without the help of anyone – God knows she is a very independent woman – but she craved the love, attention and protection that Scott had once given her.

She went to join her daughter in the living room when she heard the doorbell.  The heavy door opened to reveal Scott. She opened the door further, whispering a soft hello to him as he walked past her with a kiss on her cheekbone.

 “Hey, T. I promised her ice cream and an afternoon at the zoo. I hope that’s okay.” He stopped dead and turned back to her. “Unless you have something else planned with her…”

She stared at him for longer than necessary and her voice was soft and calm when she finally answered. “Of course not. She’ll be happy to go with you.”

She saw Olivia come from the living room and straight into her father’s arms, giving him a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

“Would you like to come with us?” he asked his wife, rubbing his daughter’s hair gently. He was still hurt from the conversation they’d had but he kept trying to be more present, even if it meant taking time off from work to go to the zoo with his child and, hopefully, her mother.

“I have so much work to do, I can’t leave home at all.” She said sadly, wanting more than anything to spend some time with her daughter.

He nodded and looked down at Olivia to hide the hurt evident in his eyes.

He took a moment to watch her. She was dressed in a yellow dress, one he remembers they had bought together when she had turned two, and her messy hair was up in a bun.

Her pretty eyes looked right back at him and she smiled at him happily.

Tessa watched them and couldn’t help but smile at the sight. This was everything she had ever wanted, and she was about to lose some of that.

“Daddy is taking you to the zoo, today, isn’t that great?” Tessa exclaimed, walking closer to them and placing a hand on her daughter’s arm that was wrapped tightly around his neck, her other laying absentmindedly on Scott’s back.

“We get ice cream?” Liv asked and smiled brightly when her dad nodded. “I love Ice cream”

“Oh, don’t we know it!” he teased, earning a giggle from both of his girls. You definitely got that sweet tooth from Mommy.“ he said, grinning at Tessa, who smiled back at him. He knew she remembered the late nights he went out to get her ice cream because her pregnancy cravings were out of control.

“Let me go get Talulu for you and then you two can go?” she smiled and walked back to the living room to retrieve Olivia’s bunny. As soon as she handed it to her daughter, Olivia wrapped her arms around it tightly.

“I’ll bring her back here before 7.” He assured his wife. “I know you have another 2 days with her.”

“Scott, you can keep her tonight if that’s what you want, we don’t have to follow the schedule.”

“No, don’t worry. It’s better if we do follow the schedule so that she is not confused.” Tessa nodded.

“Have a nice day with daddy, my love. I love you so much.  Do not eat too much ice cream!” she smiled at her daughter who had the same guilty, sheepish smiling face as her dad when she was told to behave.

She rolled her eyes and smiled at Scott in a “she-is-definitely-your-child” kind of way.

She watched them go and closed the door, letting out a big sigh. She hated fighting with him.

She walked back to the living room and sat at the table, preparing herself for hours of work and many phone calls ahead.

 After a long day of admiring different animals, eating a lot of ice cream - probably way more than her mother would agree of - and walking around the city, Scott brought back a very sleepy Olivia to her mother.

When she opened her door, it was 5 minutes past seven and her daughter had fallen asleep against his shoulder, her plush tucked against her tightly.

“I see she had a good day,” Tessa whispered, walking behind Scott as he reached the living room.

“Yes, she has. Do you mind if I tuck her in tonight?” he asked.

“Of course not, please go ahead.”  She smiled softly, the sigh before her tugging at her heart.

Scott walked into his daughter’s room and laid her down, quickly tucking her into bed. He sat down at her side, taking a few minutes to just watch her sleep.

The last 2 months had been heartbreaking to go through. He knew he was, for the most part, to blame and he regretted failing Tessa more than anything. When he met her at only 9 years old, although he didn’t really know how to behave around her and although he was suspicious of her because he thought she would overshadow him, he always knew that his job was to protect her and to never let her fall. He would later learn that his main goal was to make her smile on top of that.

He was running out of ways to get Tessa back, seeing as she was fixed on the idea of divorcing him. That thought only brought tears to his eyes. He tried to wipe them before they fell down his cheeks but he couldn’t stop the rush of emotions going through him.

Looking down at his daughter peacefully sleeping in her bed, he tried to remember the beautiful moments they had spent as a family.  Laughter, smiles and happiness were the first things that came to his mind when he recalled the most beautiful memories.

He placed a kiss on Olivia’s forehead and walked out of her room quietly.

\---

Tessa sat down on the couch and waited for Scott to come back. As she sat there, she thought back to the first time they had brought Olivia to the zoo.

_Sitting in her stroller, the one-year-old child looked around and observed the different animals that were present there. She had never seen so many creatures before and was amazed albeit a little bit scared._

_When they reached the elephants, the little girl watched in awe. She couldn’t really understand what was happening, but she was amazed by the size of the animals. If she thought her parents were tall, these were definitely bigger._

_If it wasn’t for her security belt, Olivia would have jumped from her stroller when one of the elephants started trumpeting. She looked up at her father, frightened, and burst into tears._

_Scott smiled at Tessa and unclasped the belt before taking his daughter into his arms._

_“Shh, It’s okay, baby.”_

_Liv rested her head under her father’s chin and grabbed tight fists of his shirt. She opened her eyes when her mother approached her._

_Tessa put her head on Scott’s shoulder and ran her finger through her daughter’s curly hair._

_“Oh, look at those big tears,” Tessa pouted. “Look at the elephants, baby, they didn’t want to scare you. They just wanted to say hi!” she said cheerfully._

_Tessa placed a kiss on her daughter’s forehead and swiped her thumbs under the child’s eyes, wiping away the tears. Both Tessa and Scott sat on a bench near them and Tessa placed her head back onto his shoulder, whispering reassuring words to her frightened daughter._

_Scott smiled down at them and ran a hand over his daughter’s back, his other threading_   _Tessa’s hair._

 

“Tess?”

She was brought back to the present time when she heard her husband calling her name. She quickly stood up from the couch and nervously looked at him.

“She is sleeping?”

“Yeah, she didn’t even stir.” He smiled.

Tessa smiled back, sadness pouring over her face.

“Isn’t it funny that I see you more now that we are separated than I did in the last 6 months that we have lived together?”

His beautiful smile immediately fell from his face and only then did she notice his red-rimmed eyes.

“I’m really trying here, Tess. I just wish you could show some interest in what I’m trying to improve concerning my behaviour.”

He watched as she paled and suddenly ran to the bathroom. Surprised, he followed her, not really knowing what to do, and heard the unmistakable sound of her retching.

“Tessa?” he opened the bathroom door wider and walked in despite her request to leave her alone. He knelt beside her and held her hair back.

He then wet a cloth and ran the damp towel over her forehead and then her mouth. She was still sitting on the floor, her back against the bathtub, breathing heavily.

“Baby, are you okay?” he asked again, concerned.

“I’m fine. I just don’t know why I keep throwing up. It has happened a lot lately.”

He almost didn’t dare ask the question. “Is there a possibility you could be pregnant?” his voice was so soft she almost didn’t hear it.

“No, of course not. Plus, it’s not a morning sickness kind of feeling. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Scott.” She sagged against him and he held her, content that she would let him in even after everything that has happened in the past few months.

“You should go see your doctor. Maybe there is another little Moir you aren’t aware of in there.”

He joked, placing a hand over her stomach.

“We haven’t had sex in over 4 months, kiddo, I would know if I was pregnant.” She seemed confused. Why did she keep throwing up if she wasn’t pregnant?

“I am showing interest in what you are trying to do for our family, Scott” she said, referring to their conversation before she was sick. “And I’m thankful.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments are everything to me


	3. Chapter 3

****

As parents, watching your child grow up, become more and more independent, and smarter every day is something you feel very proud of. There is another part of you that never wants your baby to grow up and not need you anymore.

Today was Olivia’s 4th birthday, and Tessa and Scott had decided that their child deserved to have the best party they could plan. They were aware that their current situation was affecting their daughter because Liv was used to having both her parents with her, and the past 5 months have been hard on her because she had to navigate between her father’s house and her mom’s new apartment.

For her birthday, it was without hesitation that they had agreed to celebrate together. The little party would take place at their home and Tessa had invited her family, friends and obviously their children. Scott had invited the whole Moir clan, or at least the ones closest to their little family.

It was 1pm when Olivia woke up from her nap to find her parents talking in the kitchen. This was a sight she had missed.

She ran towards them and squealed “It’s my birday!” She said for the second time today as she put her arms up, silently asking for her mom to pick her up, and clapped her hands at her father with a huge smile “daddy, it’s my birday!”

“Is it? How old are you today?” he asked with a smile.

The little girl wrapped an arm around her mom’s neck and extended her other towards her father, wanting to do the same around his neck. He walked a bit closer to Tessa and Olivia wrapped her arm around him as well.

“I’m 4!”

“Wow, that’s a big age!” he said, smiling at Tessa amused.

“Can I have a dog?” She asked for what seemed to be the 10th time and Tessa let out a resigned sigh.

“It’s not your birthday party yet, you won’t know what you’re getting until then.” Scott said with a grin, seeing his wife narrow her eyes at him from the corner of his eyes.

“Just so you know, if you did get her one, he is to stay in this house. Not in my apartment.” She warned him.

“Or, you could come back home and we’d all enjoy him…” he smirked, knowing how much it annoyed her when he asked her to come back.

She let out a deep sigh and glared at him.

“Hug!” Olivia brought both her parents closer in a group hug with her sandwiched in between. This was her happy place. And when Scott felt Tessa’s arms around him, he knew it was his as well.

Afterwards, Liv wiggled her way out of her parents’ arms and ran to the living room in search of her plush. Tessa busied herself in the kitchen, making the last preparations for the party. They were expecting around 20 people and she was glad that the weather was in their favor and the yard was big enough to welcome everybody. She opened the fridge to put the last bottles of juice in it but found no space, as the birthday cake was already taking up too much of it.

“Oh, by the way, did you want to see the cake?” she asked him, carefully extracting the box from their – his – fridge.

He nodded and walked closer to her, waiting for her to open it. He was marveling at the size of the box that was holding the cake. When she opened, he was amazed by the beauty of it.

It was a two-layer cake, covered with white glaze, draped with pink and yellow stripes. The bedazzling of the cake with blue and yellow buttons, accompanied by the soft pink bow at the end and the huge candle that showed the number 4 were the finishing touches that completed the look.

“It looks amazing, Tess. She is going to love it.” He smiled at her and his heart fluttered when she smiled back at him.

“Did you invite your dad?” he asked suddenly.

“Um, no. Not really.”

She frowned. “T-“

“I just… I haven’t told him we’re not together anymore and I couldn’t handle his hateful remarks, reminding me that I’ve failed the only good thing in my life. Not on my daughter’s day, Scott. I’m sorry.”

Ever since her teenage years, her relationship with her father had become unbearable and they had grown apart. When Tessa gave birth to her little girl, he finally called to say congratulations and kept in touch every two year, but it wasn’t enough, to her, to invite him today. Especially not with the news of their divorce. Her father had always loved Scott, but he always told her that marrying him would be the worst idea ever.

Scott immediately felt bad for her, he knew that although their separation was all his fault, she was blaming himself for the fail of their marriage. But her thinking that she failed her whole family and life by wanting a divorce was too much for him to bear.

He cupped her cheeks tenderly and waited for her eyes to lock with hiss before speaking.

“Kiddo, our marriage might not work but that does not mean that you’ve failed your family.” He points at the living room where their daughter is now playing on the floor,

“You are part of the reason why this little girl is here today. We have an intelligent, beautiful and amazing little girl who looks up to her mother so much. You may not want to let me have her become with hockey,“ he smirked when she chuckled, “but you are the best model she could ever have, and the best mom I could ever ask for my children.” He stroked her cheeks lightly with his thumb and didn’t look away from her green eyes.

“Thank you.”

He tentatively stepped closer to her warmth and breathed out a sigh of relief when he saw her accepting his embrace. They held each other a few minutes, both reveling in the familiar comfort. Scott burrowed his face into her neck and breathed in her intoxicating scent. When he pulled away, he didn’t take his arms from around her and looked right into her eyes again.

“I love you, Tessa.”

Just then, the doorbell rang, putting an end to their little moment.

He pulled his arms from around her as Tessa cleared her throat and straightened her shirt. She walked toward the door and laughed when she saw Olivia run towards it as well.

When she opened it, Kate and Casey were standing there, arms full of presents for the little girl. Upon seeing them, Olivia squealed and started jumping up and down in excitement, making the adults laugh.

“Well, isn’t that my favorite granddaughter?” Kate cooed, giving the presents to Scott and taking the child into her arms.

“Be grateful my child hasn’t arrived yet, mom.” Casey said, stepping inside at last.

Kate looked at his son sheepishly and kissed her grandchild before letting her on the ground again.

After the adults exchanged pleasantries, they all walked into the living room, wanting to wait for the other guests to arrive before starting the party. Scott excused himself and disappeared into the kitchen. He started making the drinks for Tessa’s family, already knowing what they’d want to drink, when he felt a hand on his back. He turned his head to find his wife, with a small smile on her face.

“Come out in the living room, Scott. You can’t hide here forever.”

“Oh, I was- I wasn’t hiding.” He let out a sigh and smiled sheepishly at her “I just don’t know how to be around Casey. He probably wants to kill me for hurting his sister and not wanting to accept her will to divorce.”

“I didn’t tell him.” She confessed, looking down at her feet.

“You didn’t?” he was surprised by that, he thought that she or her mother would have made sure he knew.

“No. I don’t really know why. I’m just so scared this is going to break the bond between our two families, and I would die if that happened.”

“I would never let it happen, T. Never”

Unexpectedly, he gave her a chaste kiss before taking the drinks he had prepared and walking to the living room, leaving her in the kitchen, trying to process his move.

After the last invitees arrived, the party was already full on going, and to Tessa and Scott’s delight, their daughter was having the time of her life.

When the time for opening presents came, she couldn’t stay still and was bouncing on the floor, tearing open the wrapping paper that covered the gifts before her. Most of the presents were toys, such as baby dolls, a cash register, tiaras because the little girl was obsessed with them, car toys, and some DIY toys because she loved mommy and daddy doing the house repairs.

Tessa gave her her gift, which was a small envelope, and Olivia frowned at the size of her mom’s gift.

Inside was a card. Tessa knew that the little girl couldn’t understand what was written but knew that she’d recognize the picture on it.

“Mickey!” the little girl squealed, showing the card to her father. “Mommy, we going to Disneyland?” she asked with her big eyes.

“Yes, we are.” Tessa said with a big smile, watching as her daughter’s eyes lit up and began jumping up and down in the living room, before running into her mom’s awaiting arms and hugging her.

When it was Scott’s turn to give her his gift, the little girl looked up at him upon not finding any wrapped present left.

“Mine is outside. I’ll be right back,” he said with a smile before standing up, brushing a hand on Tessa’s arm and walking out.

He knew how fond of dogs his daughter was, so when he saw that small puppy at the shelter, he couldn’t resist. The dog was just born and could fit in his two hands. He knew Olivia would adore him.

He went to the garage and took the puppy in his arms before walking back into the house. He was greeted by several gasps and squeals from the younger ones. He chuckled and placed the puppy in front of Livi who looked with a look of awe at her parents and then back at the puppy in front of her. She extended a hand to pet him and he licked her hand in return, making her giggle, earning a round of  ‘aww’ from everybody around her.

“Still don’t want him in your apartment, T?” he whispered in her ear, placing his hand on the small of her back absentmindedly.

She looked up at him and smirked “My landlord doesn’t accept animals in the building.” She said.

“Well then, you know where to come in order to see him.”

“He is adorable, Scott. You have no idea how much trouble this puppy and your mini me are going to get into as of right now.” She chuckled, watching the puppy lick her daughter’s hand.

“What are you gonna name him, baby?” Scott asked, slipping his arm further around Tessa. He knew she was probably going to kill him afterwards, but he was feeling so content in that moment that he wanted to soak it up. He felt her tense against him and was relieved to feel her relax after some time.

“Daddy!”

Her choice of a name made everybody chuckle, but she kept on stroking his fur, unaware of the people around.

“Baby, you can’t name him ‘daddy’. I am daddy, he will be confused.”

The little girl said nothing, still petting her new pet but after some time she looked up at her parents

“I wanted name him like you daddy, because he is my best friend,” she said, showing her small teeth as she smiled. “But okay, I'll call him Cookie!”

Scott was suddenly overcome with emotions at his daughter’s words felt tears sting his eyes. He couldn’t utter a single word for he knew he’d start crying.

“That’s a beautiful choice, noodle.” Tessa said instead, she motioned for everybody to keep the party going after their daughter had finished opening her presents and they all walked back outside, Cookie following Olivia close behind.

Everybody went home around 7pm, after having spent most of the day celebrating, opening presents and eating the tasty cake Tessa had bought.

Tessa stayed a bit to help Scott clean the house but as she found him in the living room, still lost in his thoughts as he’s been since he heard Olivia’s words, she wanted nothing more than to just be with him and enjoy the moment.

He was about to start cleaning the mess in the living room, which was full of wrapping paper, when Tessa halted his movement by grabbing his hand. He turned back to her, still feeling overwhelmed, and stared into her eyes, an open door to her soul.

“Come on, we’ll do it later.” She led him to the porch and they watched Liv running around in the yard, chased by her new best friend.

After a moment, the little girl was exhausted from her big day and Tessa decided to give her a shower and tuck her in. When she came back, Scott was still in the same spot on the porch and she joined him once again.

They didn’t talk for several minutes, both enjoying the comfortable silence, relieved to see that they hadn’t lost their ability to feel at ease around each other.

“I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve such a beautiful family, T.” He said after some quiet time. “I’ve messed up big time with you both and yet you still stand by me and love me.” He turned to her and found her already staring at him.

She didn’t say anything but instead stepped closer to him and kissed him passionately. Scott was taken aback by her sudden action but relaxed into the kiss as soon as she put her arms around his neck, effectively deepening the kiss. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to his body and she could feel his need for her pressed against her stomach.

When she broke apart from the kiss, she took his hand and led him to what was once their bedroom. When they reached the bed, she pushed him gently to sit on it and stepped between his spread legs. She threaded her fingers into his hair and her other hand stroked his cheek affectionally, with her thumb caressing his bottom lip. No words were spoken.

Wordlessly still, she lifted her shirt off her and discarded it on the floor next to her before doing the same with his. She ran her hand down his toned abs and reached his belt. She undid it and helped him out of his jeans before stepping out of hers. They were now both standing in their underwear, memories of nights spent together traveling their minds.

She finally straddled him and leaned down to kiss him again.

The kiss was just as passionate as the previous one but this one was filled with need and love and the added sensation made them both gasp into each other mouth.

Scott could feel her arousal through the thin cotton of her panties, her wetness soaking her panties and leaving a strain on his boxers. He ran his hand up and down her back and unhooked her bra, letting the straps fall from her arms.

She broke the kiss and looked straight into his deep hazel eyes. “You have been the best father anyone could ever ask for, for Olivia and a loving husband, Scott. Don’t ever question that.”

“If I had been a better husband, you’d be sleeping next to me every night and I’d be making love to you every chance I’d get” he gripped her hips possessively, grinding his hips into hers.

“Wishful thinking will get you nowhere, Scott. You’re not as young as you used to be,” she teased, a smirk creeping up her face. She bent lower, her mouth reaching his ear. “Make love to me now.” She whispered seductively.

They got rid of the last barrier between them and, foreplay forgotten -they didn’t need it anyway- he slid into her easily, both sighing at the familiar, overwhelming, pleasuring sensation it brought them.

They started a slow rhythm, both taking their time to please the other, both knowing by heart every part of the other’s body. Where to touch, where to kiss, where to caress, to make the other whimper with pleasure.

As Scott gradually sped his thrusts, Tessa’s moans became louder and lasted longer. His lips found her neck and he bit it gently, his left hand kneading her breast, pinching her gently, earning yet another gasp from her.

“Don’t stop, Scott, please fuck me harder. Oh!” she screamed when he hit a particular spot.

He quickly put his hand over her mouth to keep her from screaming again, not wanting their daughter to wake up. Not wanting to be interrupted either.

7 months deep of longing was making Tessa moan with intensity, matching his thrusts. She reached around to pull his hips closer to her, causing him to penetrate her deeper and she started feeling lightheaded from the pleasure.

“Scott, please don’t stop, you feel so good, so thick.” She was moaning continuously now, pulling him even closer if it was physically possible.

Scott was feeling the impending of his orgasm as he felt his member grow even larger at her moans and her words spoken with a slurred voice.

“Sccccotttt, I’m gonna-“

“Come for me, T. Come for me. Let go, baby.” He said between clenched teeth. “So tight, you’re so fucking tight.” He groaned when she started spasming around him, her walls clenching his engorged dick and pulling him over the edge with her.

“Fuck, Tessa!” he moaned as he emptied himself into her, his seed filling her unprotected womb.

He kept giving small thrusts as they came down from their high and she stroked his sweaty back soothingly.

After a moment, he pulled out of her and groaned as his penis came in contact with the cool air of the room. He slumped next to her, and she quickly and quietly cuddled up against him.

Not one single word was spoken as they gave into sleep.

The next morning, Scott woke up to an empty bed. Tessa had gone home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback! I hope you'll like this chapter x


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your heartwarming comments!!
> 
> I hope you'll like this chapter and I can't wait to read your reactions on this one!
> 
> Trigger warning: mentions of cancer.

Olivia had already become very attached to her new best friend, sneaking him quietly into her room at night when she thought her parents wouldn’t see her. The dog had grown used to sleeping at her feet, on her bed… And as much as Tessa didn’t like the idea, both parents didn’t object.

As August was coming to an end, Tessa was finally able to take a week off work to relax and spend some quality time with her family. Mostly her daughter since she and Scott hadn’t really talked since that night spent together on Liv’s birthday. The most of their conversations now concerned their daughter and Tessa knew it was all her fault.

Scott was mad as hell at her- and rightfully so- for sleeping with him after he’d poured his heart out. And leaving him to process the events that obviously had no real meaning, since she left so abruptly. Well that’s what he thought anyways.

_Tessa woke up disoriented, not used to being in this bedroom anymore. Memories of the night before flooded her mind and she let out a deep sigh. Scott was sleeping behind her, his front pressed tightly against her back and his arm resting heavily against her hip._

_Once upon a time, this was a feeling she was more than happy waking up to._

_Today, she only felt regrets._

_Regrets because she knew that sleeping with him was the worst idea. She knew that it would only contribute in getting his hopes up for a potential relationship that she was definitely not ready getting back into. Her mind kept reminding her that there was a reason she had asked for a divorce in the first place. As much as she enjoyed the feeling of him next to her, of him loving her like he did last night, she knew there was a long path before they’d get back to how things were_ before _._

_She turned in his arms to face him, watching as he moved onto his back, his mouth slightly open and listening to his soft snores. She placed a hand on his chest and let her thumb caress the skin there before placing her head atop her hand and letting the hard thump of his heartbeat soothe her worried mind._

_It was not long before her nagging concerns came back to haunt her and she quickly, but as quietly as possible, rolled out of his strong grip and sat up._

_Immediately, dizziness overcame her, and she had to close her eyes tightly to let it pass_.

I got up too quickly _, she reasoned herself, not wanting to start worrying about why this was happening a lot lately. In addition to the whole throwing up part._

_She made her way cautiously to the bathroom and closed the door behind her._

_Standing in front of the mirror, she took a good look at herself and noticed her messy hair and her plump lips that screamed_ ‘I’ve been kissed all night’.

_She let out a sigh before throwing some water onto her face, hoping that the dizziness would stop. She decided it would probably be safer to get checked out by a doctor to ease her worries._

_She zipped up her skirt and put her sweater on before taking a deep breath, one last look at the mirror and disappeared into the early morning._  

* * *

 

For 10 days, they didn’t utter a word, other than ones concerning their child and Scott was considering finally signing the divorce papers to put his family out of their misery. He still wanted to fight for their marriage but quickly realized that  _her_  heart wasn’t in it anymore.

He decided to call Lauren, his lawyer, and ask her to bring the papers so he could put an end to this useless fight. After ending the call and deciding that she’d meet him at his house an hour later, he went back to working on his new project and lost track of time until he heard a knock.

“Hi.”

“Hey, come on in, Lauren. Thank you for coming so fast.”

“It’s alright, don’t worry. My shift ended two hours ago.” She closed the door behind her and quietly took in her surroundings. She noticed how obvious it was that this house was lived in by a child, by the number of toys scattered in the living room.

“I um, have the papers you asked for.” She got a folder out of her suitcase and handed them to him. “Are you sure about this? You know that we can still fight for this, Mr Moir.”

He took the folder from her and took out the divorce papers and was immediately overwhelmed by how formal and official this all seemed.

“Yes, I’m sure. There are some… things I took into consideration before making this decision, Lauren.” He said, thinking back to the night they spent together a few weeks ago.

He let out a deep sigh and grabbed a pen _. I’m doing this for you, Tess,_  he thought. He quickly put the papers back into the folder and handed them back to his attorney.

“Do you want something to drink?” he asked, trying to break the icy silence.

“I have to go get my son from gym. But thank you.”

He nodded and lead her to the front door, opening it for her and followed her as they stepped onto the porch.

“I will let you know as soon as I have any news from Ms. Virtue’s attorney.” She said with a nod “Are you gonna be okay?” she asked hesitantly, knowing this was affecting him deeply.

“This is the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I think it’s gonna take me some time to process this. To accept that the biggest part of my life is ending.” He said sadly.

She put a comforting hand on his arm and squeezed gently.

“You’ll get through this. It’s probably better that way for your child.”

He nodded and smiled, thinking about Olivia.

Tessa had arrived at Scott’s house with a view to talk to him about her will to take Liv to Disneyland while she still had her days off. She parked the car in the yard in front of his house and was about to get out of the car when she saw him walking out of the house with Lauren, his lawyer.

She watched as the woman put a hand on his in a comforting way. This gesture brought flashbacks; the last time she had witnessed this, Jessica had just entered their life. A shiver passed through her body and she averted her eyes from the scene before her. She took a deep breath and gathered the courage to get out of her car and walk towards them.

When Scott looked up, he was surprised to see her and even more surprised that he hadn’t noticed her presence before then. He quickly pulled his hand back from Lauren's grasp as if he had done something wrong and took a step toward her.

“Tess, hey, I didn’t hear you arrive.” He managed a smile and locked eyes with her to gauge her reaction. Nothing. Her walls were back up.

“I just wanted to talk to you about something that concerns Liv.”  _Of course._

“Sure. Come on in, Lauren was just leaving.”

“Hi, Ms McDenn” Tessa said politely before walking toward the door, “I didn’t mean to interrupt,” she mumbled as she passed Scott.

He let out a sigh and said his goodbyes to Lauren, deciding to take the papers from her and give them to Tessa himself. It was getting even harder than he anticipated.

He closed the door behind him and walked to the living room where Tessa was sitting. She was immediately greeted by their puppy who, despite his small size, managed to jump onto her lap.

“Hey, you!” she cooed to him, petting his head. “Olivia asked for him all day yesterday,” she informed Scott, who was now standing next to the couch she was sitting on.

“Buddy and I sleep together now, he has taken your space. Only when Olivia isn’t here though.” He said with a chuckle.

“You let the dog sleep in our bed?” she asked, surprised, and flushed at her use of the ‘our’ pronoun.

“It gets a little lonely.” He shrugged and tossed the papers onto the coffee table. “You want something to drink?” he asked, already headed to the kitchen.

“Just water.” She answered absently, her eyes focused on the papers that were now sticking out of the camel envelope.

As soon as the folder hit the table, it slipped open and the papers were now visible.

She read the words again and again and felt her throat constrict at what this could mean. She didn’t see the whole thing but knew that those were their divorce papers. Had he signed them? Was this why Lauren was there?

Her thoughts were interrupted when he came back to the living room, carrying a glass of water and a beer.

“What did you want to talk about?” he asked, sitting next to her on the couch, but not too close.

“Um, what?” she lifted her eyes from her lap and looked at him, confused.

“You said you came to talk about something concerning Livy.” He answered calmly, wondering why she was so lost in her thoughts. When he saw her repeatedly look at the coffee table, he followed her gaze and saw the papers.  _Shit_ , he thought,  _shit shit shit shit_

“Oh right. I was wondering if you were free this weekend.” She said sheepishly.

“Sure, why?”

“I wanted us to go to Disneyland now because I don’t know I’ll get any off day after this week.” She explained. “Remember, I got her Disney tickets for her birthday, and I know she wants you to come with us as well.”

“Sure T, I’d be happy to.” He said with a beaming smile that warmed her heart.

“Great. We’ll go Saturday morning if that’s okay with you. We can get rooms at a motel. The pass I got lasts two days.”

“Great. I can take care of our room reservations” he suggested.

“You don’t mind?”

“No, of course not.”

“Thank you.” He nodded, and a silence fell over them. This was not the comfortable silence they were used to, the atmosphere either.

“I need to go, I need to get her from my mom’s. You can call her tonight if you want.” she said.

“Yeah, I’ll call her before bed.”

They both stood up at the same time and Tessa couldn’t help but glance down at the papers. Scott let out a sigh, he knew he needed to address this. 

He took a deep, shaky breath and grabbed the papers.

“I uh, I signed your papers, T.” He said sadly.

Her heart sank at his words and she tried her best not to let the emotions overwhelm her.

“Why?” she breathed.

When he looked at her confused, she rushed to explain her own confusion.

“I mean, you have been fighting and refusing to do it for months and now all of a sudden you changed your mind? What happened, what changed? Did you meet someone?” She knew she had no right to ask him these questions, but she was taken aback and deeply hurt, although she was the one who asked for this.

“There has not been anyone but you, Tessa.” He said sternly but with affection. “I guess the events of Olivia’s birthday opened my eyes.” He looked down at his hands and a pang of regrets washed over her.

“We never got to talk about it, did we” she said painfully. “Scott, words cannot describe how sorry I am for leaving like this.”

“Can I even get an explanation, Tessa?” Anger was building but he tried his hardest to remain calm.

“I don’t know, I just panicked, Scott. It shouldn’t have happened. You know it.”

He scoffed but said nothing, his eyes telling her that he was raging inside.

“When I woke up, I had this amazing, familiar feeling that I always have when I’m with you and it scared me to death because I knew that I couldn’t let myself fall for this again. Scott, we are getting divorced for a reason, I don’t think we have worked through this enough to just forget and start over. And now that you’ve signed the papers, I think we have definitely lost our fight.” Tears were now brimming her eyes, but she refused to cry in front of him.

“I’m sorry.” They said in unison, and Tessa left.

* * *

 

Two days later, Scott made his way to Tessa’s apartment to get Olivia for the day like it was planned. He was now constantly anxious to be around his wife and this was a feeling he was not used to, but he had to remain friendly around their daughter.

He knocked and was surprised to see Kate on the other side of the door, a worried look on her face, and holding his daughter in her arms.

“Daddy!” she squealed and asked for a kiss, “we are going to get ice cream with grandma!”

“What? But-“

“Scott, I think you should be with Tessa right now, she needs you. I’ll take care of Liv for the day.”

“She needs me? What happened? Is she okay?” his worried eyes met hers and his heart quickened.

“It’s better if she tells you herself,” she whispered quietly, her emotions overwhelming her.

He entered the apartment without another word and looked around. Nothing seemed out of ordinary. Nothing broken, the apartment wasn’t trashed. He started looking for her and walked to the kitchen.

He found their divorce papers on the table, but no sign of Tessa and immediately grew worried.

“T?” he called her, walking in a quickened pace towards her bedroom. He was about to knock when she opened it.

She looked up at him with puffy, red eyes and he asked her million questions with his eyes.

“There is something wrong with my medical results.” She said in a small voice and his knees threatened to buckle, but she continued.

“I need to do more tests on Monday, but the doctor thinks it might Cancer.” She let out a whimper, unable to say another word.

He walked them to the bedroom and sat on the bed, bringing her to sit on his lap. She immediately wrapped herself around him, her face finding the crook of his neck.

“Tess, baby?” he said after some time, realizing that she was not crying, that she was keeping it all bottled up inside. Typical Tessa coping mechanism.

“I’m fine, Scott.”

“It’s okay if you are not,” he soothed gently.

It was all it took for her to break down and burst into heart-wrenching sobs.

He held her for hours, whispering comforting words to her ears and wondering if his heart was strong enough to handle the pain ahead.

One thing was for sure, he was not going to let her go through this alone.

“I’m here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ASKJHLDFFJMG don't hate me!
> 
> Turns out she is NOT pregnant like 90% of you thought hehe, or maybe she is? stay tuned to find out more about this story!
> 
> {english is not my first language}


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can't begin to tell you how much your comments on my last chapter made me smile!
> 
> here is a quick update, hope you'll like it :)))

Tessa watched as her daughter played on the floor of their living room, her puppy not far from her, sleeping next to her. She had managed to sneak him into her apartment without anyone noticing after Olivia’s desperate cries for him. She knew her landlord was adamant about the presence of animals in the building, but Tessa couldn’t bring herself to refuse her daughter anything. She knew they wouldn’t have problems since the puppy was quiet and just enjoyed the presence of his little friend.

It has been 2 weeks since Tessa had done her tests to find out if the doctor’s suspicions were correct. She had managed to keep a cool face around her daughter, but she was scared to death to not be able to see her child grow up. Her biggest fear was to abandon her only child and have her grow up without her mother. She knew how important a mother is to a little girl her age and the thought that this could be taken away from her was killing her more than this possible disease.

Despite everything that has happened in the past year, Scott has been very present and very supportive, he was her strength. She couldn’t begin to imagine how she would have handled this all by herself. As independent as she was, she was glad to have him by her side during the most difficult time of her life.

The couple had decided to maintain their trip to Disneyland because they wanted Olivia to be happy and to have as normal a life as possible. They also knew that she was looking forward to this and it was impossible for them to take that away from her.

So, they had decided to go over the weekend, which was coming since today was Friday. Tessa had been forced to tell her superior about her medical situation and had asked for some personal days off.

She startled at the sound of someone knocking and walked toward the front door, knowing that Scott was on the other side. She was greeted by his smile and a kiss on her cheek with a hand on her hip.

“How are you feeling?” he asked gently, knowing that she hated to be asked this question constantly, but needing to be reassured.

“I feel fine,” she assured him and closed the door behind him.

 She smiled as she watched Liv run toward her dad and jump into his arms. She hadn’t seen him in 4 days and it was the longest they had been separated.

“I missed you, daddy. So did Cookie!” 

Scott chuckled and kissed her cheek “Is that so? I missed you two and mommy so much, too.”

Tessa smiled at him as she approached her family and kissed her daughter. “Is my baby ready for Disneyland tomorrow?”

“Yes, I am.” Scott answered jokingly, smiling at the little girl’s squeals at the name of Disneyland.

“Daddy thinks he’s funny,” she teased while tickling her daughter, earning another squeal from her.

Scott put Olivia back on the floor and she wandered around the apartment, Cookie following close behind, happily.

“I um, I wanted to ask you a favor, T.” He smiled sheepishly, and Tessa furrowed her brows, wondering what he was up to.

“What is it?”

“You know we have to leave early tomorrow morning, right? We have to be at the airport at 8am tomorrow, and since we have a to be there early, and your apartment is nearer than our house, we gotta get up early and all.”

“Get to the point, Scott.”

“Do you mind if I spend the night here?”

She smiled at how uncomfortable he looked, “Of course not, kiddo. After all, we are going to spend two other nights together in Disneyland.” she shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal, and it shouldn’t really be.

When Scott had made the reservations in the Disney hotel, the woman on the phone told him that the only rooms that were available were family rooms. He knew right then that this was going to be a long weekend.

“What time do we leave then?”

“Well, I say we leave at 5:45am to make sure we are there a little earlier. Our flight takes off at 8:10am.”

Tessa nodded “Do you have to go back home to get your suitcase?” she asked, noticing he had arrived empty handed.

“Um, no. I have it in my trunk.” His answer made her smirk.

“You were so sure I was gonna accept, uh?” she chuckled.

He just smirked and shrugged before casting a look over her shoulder to look at Liv, who was slowly falling asleep on the couch, ready for bed.

He took Tessa’s hand and led her to the kitchen, so they could talk without fearing of being heard by their daughter.

“How have you really been feeling today, Tess?”

Tessa sighed and dropped his hand, “Scott, please, stop this. You know better than anyone that I hate this.”

“And I know better than anyone that you always say you’re fine when you’re not.”

“But I am, today. I haven’t had any nosebleed, much less dizziness than the past few days. I have an appointment with my oncologist on Monday to talk about the results.”

“Want me to come with you?” he asked hesitantly, knowing she’d probably snap at him for being overprotective, but was surprised when she nodded.

“Did you have dinner? I can make something real quick for us. Liv has eaten, and I think if I tried to wake her now she’d actually throw a tantrum,” the adults chuckled before she added “wonder where she gets that from.”

“Oh, that’s definitely your side, T.”

She glared at him in mock anger and shook her head with a smile. Oh, how much she had missed that.

“I actually am starved, what do you suggest, miss Virtue?”

“I have some chicken leftovers and you know I make some mean poached eggs” she grinned at him. “How does that sound?”

“That sounds pretty good. You know, I miss eating your meals.”

“Oh, come on. It’s not like I’m a chef or something”

“Definitely not, but I’d choose my wife’s cooking over any chef in the world.” He winked at her “I’ll set the table,” he said before grabbing the plates and glasses, leaving her dumbfounded.

 

 

After tucking Olivia in her bed, they both found their way to the couch, in front of the tv, an unknown show playing that neither was paying attention to. They were lost in their mind, both wondering – and fearing – about the future, her future.  _Their_  future.

Scott watched as she laid her head back against the couch and shut her eyes tightly as if the light was hurting her.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” he asked, putting a hand on her thigh and scooting closer.

“Just a headache, my head is killing me.” She moaned at the pain and pressed her hand against her eyes.

“Come here,” He said, pulling her body against him and laying her head on his lap,

She was about to ask what he was doing when he started massaging her forehead and her scalp.

A moan, this time of relief and contentment, escaped her mouth and she finally relaxed.

“Does that help?”

She just nodded, her eyes still close and ready to let herself fall asleep in his arms. That’s where she felt the safest.

He stopped massaging her and his touch turned into soft caresses. He ran his fingers over her forehead, down her temple and her cheeks before going back up on her forehead. He stroked her hair gently and felt her body go limp against his, an indicator that she had fallen asleep.

He took his time to watch her face. The freckles on her nose were so visible when she had no makeup on and it was something he cherished. Her soft lips that he ached to kiss again were a great fit on her face and her dark hair always drove him crazy.

He couldn’t see them now, but her deep, green eyes were his favorite part of her. Big, wet, sparkling green. They anchored him to the scene.

He carefully extracted himself from under her and placed her head on the couch. He debated whether he should carry her to her bed or not and decided to do it as he knew she needed rest.

He slowly put his arms under her limp body and lifted her against him, holding her tight against him and reveling in the feeling.

He noticed that she had lost some weight, most definitely due to the fact that she had been constantly sick lately, and it made his heart constrict. He carried her to her bedroom, and as he reached her threshold, she stirred in his arms. She was surprised to see him carrying her, and wrapped her arms around his neck, her face finding its spot onto his shoulder.

He lowered her on the bed and she quickly made her way under the covers. As warm as it was during the day, in September, the nights were chilly.

She looked up at him, her eyes half closed and smiled the most beautiful smile before closing her eyes again. He leaned down to kiss her forehead before walking out to the living room.

Scott set up an alarm and laid back down on the couch before closing his eyes, hoping to get a few hours’ sleep before driving to the airport.

-

He was woken a few hours later by his alarm. When he glanced at his phone, the clock showed ‘4:45am’, they’d need to leave in an hour.

He laid for a few more minutes until he saw Tessa come out of her bedroom, still half asleep and yelped when she flopped ungracefully on top of him. She was now completely laying over him.

“I hate myself for booking a plane so early,” she mumbled and laid her head on his chest, closing her eyes once more.

He chuckled and rubbed her back gently.

“Come on, Virtch, get off me, I’ve gotta wake our child. If she’s anything like her mama – which I know she is – waking her is gonna be a hard task.

“Did you catch some sleep? You could have slept in the bed, Scott.”

“Don’t worry, baby. Now, get up,” he laughed when she just moved to side, against the back of the couch to let him up.

“When I come back with your mini-me, you better have moved from here” he warned jokingly before making his way to Olivia’s room.

He sat on her bed and stroked her face, making her frown in her sleep.

“Oly bee, wake up, baby.” He said gently.

She sighed and buried her face in the crook of her father’s neck when he picked her up.

“Daddy, I’m tired,” she pouted.

“I know, baby, but we are going to Disneyland today, baby!”

She opened her eyes and smiled lazily “yay!” she said, her voice still full of sleep.

He chuckled,  _yeah, she is definitely your child, Tess,_ he thought to himself.

 

Thankfully, they had been able to get seats next to each other, Olivia seating between them and about ready to fall back into dreamland.

It was her first time flying and she was awed by the sensation and the view, and thankfully she wasn’t scared. 

 When they arrived at the hotel – they had chosen the Disney's Port Orleans Resort - Riverside hotel-, the woman at the reception was kind enough to have people take care of their luggage, whilst the family was shown their room for the next two nights.

The room was very spacious with a king size bed and single bed on the opposite side of the room. The large window revealed a breathtaking view of the resort and on the small river that was surrounding the hotel. Scott noticed that the room was also equipped with a mini bar. They were amazed by the beauty of the room, and how comfy it looked. The bathroom was also big, with a big tub that made Tessa moan internally; this called for hours long baths.

“I might spend more time in here than at the actual resort,” Scott teased, making her chuckle.

“I’m telling you now, as soon as Liv goes to sleep tonight, I’m planning on spending a very long time in here,” she pointed to the tub.

“What, without me?” he pouted

She rolled her eyes and smirked, patting his chest before making her way to the main room.

It was almost 12pm and Tessa knew a parade was planned in about 20 minutes, and was sure Olivia wanted to see it. They quickly put their luggage in their room and prepared for a very long day at the park.

\--

“Mommy! I see mickey! And Anna!” she squealed, seeing all her favourite Disney characters at once was overwhelming for her.

Tessa and Scott were delighted to see the happiness on her face, they knew the little girl was excited to come here and had been asking for months before Tessa gave in and bought the tickets. At this point, she’d do anything to make her daughter happy, and seeing her today, smiling bigger than either her parents have ever seen her, she knew she had made the best decision. She also knew Olivia would keep asking her to go back every chance she’d get.

As she watched her daughter and her husband walk around the park, she couldn’t help but think back to the past year. Her decision to divorce Scott hadn’t come so easily. In the years they’d worked together, she had kept up with so many things but never gave up on their partnership, their friendship and later, their romantic relationship. She knew that as infuriating he often was, she couldn’t imagine her life without him. But now that everything involved Olivia, she knew she never wanted her daughter to feel like her parents didn’t love each other, more importantly, that they didn’t love  _her_.

Since she told him about her possible cancer, he’d be very present and supportive, and she couldn’t be more grateful, but they had not once talked about their divorce since. She knew they wouldn’t finalize anything until she got better, or until… the worst happened, but she also knew they needed to have a talk in order to clear things up and see where the other stood. She decided she wouldn’t bring it up during this trip, not wanting to ruin this already magical weekend.

“Well, look at this beautiful princess!” an older woman said beside Tessa, bringing her out of her reverie.

She turned her head to look at her and smiled in thanks.

“I’m princess Anna!” the little girl exclaimed excited, showing the woman her breaded hair. She didn’t even need to wear a fake wig, considering she already had red hair.

“That’s a very beautiful Anna. My granddaughter is obsessed with Elsa!”

She was surprised to see that Liv was so comfortable talking to this stranger, but they were queueing for the next attraction and there wasn’t much else to do.

“I like Elsa too.” She said in her toddler language.

“Maybe if mommy and daddy give you a little sister, you’ll be able to dress her up as Elsa,” she winked and turned when the person in front of her paid their tickets and walked away.

Scott watched his daughter’s eyes light up at the idea and his wife’s face fall. They hadn’t discussed anything that serious since the news from the doctor and he knew this was to be the toughest subject.

Tessa noticed Scott’s stare and cast her glance down, staring at her feet. The little girl surprisingly didn’t make a comment but bounced on her feet, excited to see to get to the next attraction.

Scott silently stepped beside her and placed his hand on the small of her back.  _His spot_. He leaned down to her ear and caressed her skin through her shirt with his hand.

“You okay?” he murmured right into her ear.

She nodded but kept her gaze on the floor, her body unconsciously inching closer to his.

He placed a long, lingering kiss on her temple and walked over to his daughter when it was their turn.

* * *

 

It was 9:50pm when they made their way back to their room after having dinner at the restaurant of the hotel.

The family was exhausted, especially Olivia, who had fallen asleep in her father’s arms on the way from the restaurant to the room. He waited as Tessa pulled back the covers of her bed and laid her down gently, carefully removing her jacket and, not wanting to wake her to get her into her pjs, he just pulled the covers over her, letting her sleeping.

He turned back to Tessa, who was sitting at the end of their bed and removing her shoes, before walking in the bathroom to get a quick shower and change into his own night clothes. When he returned, he saw that she was ready to have her own alone time in the bathroom.

“You gonna take that hour-long bath after all?” he smiled but was only rewarded with a tired smile of hers.

“I’m too tired to do anything right now. I’ll just have a quick shower and head straight to bed. I don’t mind if you want to stay up and watch tv or something.” She said dismissively before locking the door behind her.

He knew the older woman’s comment had hurt her deeply and didn’t know how to approach the subject. But he refused to bring it up during their trip. Their many conversations would wait til when they got back home.

 --

25 minutes later, a record for her, she reappeared, dressed in flannel pajama pants and one of his shirts that she had stolen when she moved out.

“I was wondering where it had disappeared to.” He joked, pointing to the shirt.

She blushed slightly and climbed into bed next to him.

“It doesn’t even smell like you anymore,” she shrugged and laid her head down, letting out a sigh of contentment. They had been on their feet the whole day and she was happy to finally get some rest. As much as she wanted her daughter happy, her illness was taking very much of her strength lately.

“I’m so tired,” she whined, hiding her head into her pillow.

“Well, luckily, we don’t have to be anywhere before 9am tomorrow.”

“Thank God,”

Silence fell over them; the only sound was their daughter’s breaths. He finally turned off his bed lamp and laid down on his side, unconsciously bringing his body closer to hers. She didn’t seem to mind and inched closer to him, not quite touching him but feeling his heat radiating off his body. She sighed and closed her eyes.

“Scott?” she said drowsily.

“mm?”

“Can you do what you were doing last night, with your fingers?” she asked, already drifting off.

He smiled and scooted closer to her until the side of her arm came in contact with his chest and he ran his hand through her silk hair. Hovering over her, he placed a kiss on her forehead, and watched as the frown between her eyebrows disappeared and her face relaxed into a peaceful state.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for your comments!!

The second day at the park was pretty repetitive; with Olivia wanting to go to her favourite attractions that ended up being the same ones as yesterday. But as much as this might become boring, at the end of the day, the smile on their daughter’s face was truly worth anything. Seeing their daughter laughing and being happy was priceless.

Scott was exhausted. He had spent a good part of the night awake, with Tessa sleeping soundly in his arms, and his fingers still playing with her hair. He spent hours just remembering the good moments in their relationship. the first time they met, their first skate, their first date, their first kiss, their first time, their wedding…

The most beautiful memory he had with her was the birth of their miracle. She came into the world earlier than planned, but she was the most precious baby in the world. The look on his wife’s face when she met her child was absolutely breathtaking and her words still echoed in his mind.

_“You are a daddy, Scott,” she said, holding their little bundle of joy in her arms, eyes brimming with tears. “I’m the luckiest woman in the world.”_

He was having a hard time processing the past few months, especially those last weeks since they found out about her potential cancer. He felt mad. He felt guilty. He thought that his tendency of being guilty of everything that happened to Tessa would stop once they retired, but now it was back full force. Constant guilt creeping in.

Before the news about the cancer, just the thought of losing her due to their divorce was paining him immensely. But now the pain had become unbearable, and he couldn’t bear thinking about what would happen if he truly lost her this time.

When she was in the hospital to get surgery on her shins Scott felt like his own life was coming to an end. He had learned to be with her and to rely on her for so many things that he could never imagine his life without her in it.

But now, a child was involved, and it was breaking his heart to even think that Olivia would have to spend the rest of her life without her mother.

When they came back to their hotel room, Tessa decided to give Liv a quick bath before dinner while Scott ordered something. They didn’t have the energy to get dressed and head down the hotel’s restaurant, so they just chose to get room service. Chinese and chicken was on the menu, so Scott ordered Chinese for them, and got chicken for his daughter since the girl, unlike her parents, wasn’t a big fan of Chinese food. The person on the line told him the food would be ready in about 15 minutes, which was great because his family was hungry.

Tessa emerged from the bathroom with Liv in her arms, wrapped in a fluffy towel, and steam coming out from the bathroom. She placed the girl on the bed and Scott took over, dressing the little girl in her PJs.

Tessa dropped onto their bed and closed her eyes, an arm over her eyes. It had been a long day, they had walked a lot and she was exhausted.

“Daddy, I hungry.” The little girl said as Scott helped her into her top.

“Food will be here soon, baby. I ordered some chicken for you.” He smiled and kissed her head before gently brushing her hair.

“Yay,” she said excitedly despite her exhaustion. “daddy, can I watch toon toon?”

When Olivia wanted something, she made that cute little face, her bottom lip forming a pout resembling her father’s and her big eyes, resembling her mother. He could never say no to her. About  _anything_.

He grabbed the remote and tried to find some cartoon for his daughter. When he found SpongeBob, he turned up the volume, and the little girl made herself comfortable on the bed where her mother was still lying in, and cuddled under the covers, her thumb in her mouth.

Not even 5 minutes later, a young woman arrived with their food and the family was finally able to enjoy their dinner. Olivia had quite the appetite, as did Scott, but he noticed that his wife wasn’t eating much.

“You don’t like it?” he gestured to her barely touched plate.

“I do, I do. I’m just not really hungry tonight.” She shrugged and took a sip of her water.

Scott finished feeding his daughter and helped her into her bed as soon as she was finished. He let the tv on this time, knowing she’d be asleep within minutes if she watched the rest of the SpongeBob episode that was on.

He collected his and Olivia’s empty plates, and Tessa's almost untouched one, and put them away for the lady to come and get them.

He disappeared into the bathroom to take a quick shower and came back to a sleeping Olivia, and a dozing Tess.

He wasn’t sure if she was asleep as her back was to him. When he neared the bed, she lifted her head and turned to look at him.

“Bathroom is all yours,” he said and started looking for his pajama pants.

Tessa sat up and rolled her head to the side, trying to relieve the tension from her stiff neck.

“Thank God this is our last day, I couldn’t handle another minute out there,” she mumbled as he sat beside her.

He gently turned her body so that her back was facing him, and his fingers started applying pressure on the muscles of her shoulders and neck.  Tessa let out a deep sigh and tilted her head forward. His fingers stroked her back, applying firmer pressures where he could feel the knotted muscles. She could only grunt in pleasure when he dug a little harder, trying to relieve the tension that a long day had brought.

His hands wandered south and the tips of his fingers caressed her hips, sending chills down her spine.

He leaned forward and kissed her shoulder,

“Think you’ll be able to sleep?” he asked in a gentle whisper and she shrugged, clearing her throat and pulling away from his touch.

She was confused about what she was feeling. She loved this man more than anything in the world, but there was still so much to talk about. She didn’t want her illness to be the reason he pitied her and got back with her because he felt like he had to.

She mentally shook her head,  _he would never do that_ , she thought to herself.

“I think I’m gonna take a long bath, first. I did say that I wanted to take a long one before we left.” She smiled.

Scott nodded and smiled at her. “Tell me when you’re in, I’ll bring you a glass of wine.”

“Thank you,” she said in a whisper, brushing a hand against his arm as she passed him.

Scott took out two glasses and a bottle of red wine that the hotel had given them as a welcome gift and headed towards the bathroom. He stopped near Liv’s bed to check if she was still sleeping, turned off the TV and lifted the sheets to cover her arms, before joining Tessa in the bathroom.

He opened the door gently and popped his head in to check if she was already covered by the bubbles. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

He realized that he had arrived a bit too early and watched as her bare body hit the warm water. He caught a glimpse of her naked form and the shiny piercing on her navel before retracting to the living room for a few seconds. He had noticed how much she had lost weight when he carried her the other night, but seeing her bare body made him realize how much she really had lost.

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door this time. He heard her tell him to come in. He opened the door with his elbow and walked in before closing the door but leaving it ajar, in case Liv woke up. He placed the glasses on the side of the bathtub and opened the wine bottle.  

He poured her half a glass and handed it to her, finally taking in her position. The bubbles were covering her, leaving only the swell of her breasts visible. Her hair was up in a messy bun and her face was makeup free, showing her freckles.

And seeing her lying in this tub, he couldn’t help but think that she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

When he realized that he was staring, and that she had caught him, he cleared his throat and filled his own glass, before sitting on the small plastic chair situated next to the tub.

“What time is our flight tomorrow?” she asked after taking a sip.

“9:30am.”

“My appointment is at 4pm. Think we could drop Liv at my Mom’s on the way there?”

“Sure. No problem.”

When Tessa told him about her appointment with her oncologist on Monday, he was quick to ask her if she wanted him to go with her and was surprised to see that she had actually agreed without hesitation.

As he watched her soaking in the bath and sipping her wine, he couldn’t help but notice how tense and worried she looked.

“What’s on your mind, T?” he could feel it in his heart when something was bothering her.

She let out a deep sigh and closed her eyes. She was silent for a moment, trying to keep her emotions at bay and find the right words. “Scott, what if it’s not treatable? I’m terrified of having to go through chemo, of having no strength left to be with our daughter…”

“Baby, come on, let’s wait and see what the doctor says before talking about chemo, yeah?” He tried to keep an even voice, but he was more concerned than he let on. He wanted to remain strong in front of her, because she needed him to be her strength and to reassure her. But even _he_ was scared to death.

“I- I don’t know what to do, Scotty.” Tears were now forming in her eyes and he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms.

He dropped on the floor next to the tub and brought her naked body to his chest.

“Scott, you’re gonna get all wet!” she said, laughing through her tears.

“I don’t care,” he whispered as he brought her into his arms, her head resting above his heart, and his arms wrapped tightly around her waist.

“Whatever happens tomorrow, I am here for you. I’m not going anywhere, T. You haven’t been able to get rid of me all these years, it’s not going to happen this time either.” He whispered into her wet hair.

“We might be going through a hard part of our married lives, but it’s nothing we can’t fix. I love you more than anything in this world. I’ll do everything it takes to make this marriage last another 50 years or so.” He knew now was not the time to talk about their marriage issues, but he needed to get it out of his chest.

“You can count on me. For anything. I am here for you and our daughter and I don’t care about anything else but you two right now. Do you trust me, Tess?”

She nodded against his chest and wiped the tears that had fallen onto her cheeks.

She pulled away and stood up to quickly rinse off her body from the soap. She didn’t even care about Scott seeing her naked. It was nothing he hadn’t seen before. She felt comfortable around him, even if they were on a weird path in their relationship.

Scott didn’t say anything either, he just reached around for a big towel and handed it to her when she got out of the tub. He wrapped the towel around her body and let his hands roam over the towel wrapped around her. He rested his hands on her hips and leaned forward to kiss her between her eyebrows. Right where her potential cancer could be.

She closed her eyes and tried not to let the new wave of emotions get the best of her once again. She reached for him when he was about to pull away and kissed his lips.

So many emotions were conveyed through this kiss that it took his breath away.

She took the last remaining towel and handed it to him, so he could dry his chest, and sat down on the small chair to put lotion onto her skin.

He walked back into the living room and turned off the tv. He pulled the covers back and climbed into the large bed, waiting for his wife to join him.

 _Waiting for his wife to join him_ … oh, how these words had become foreign to his own ears.

Tessa turned the lights off and joined him under the covers. She didn’t utter a single word and silently inched her body closer to his, close enough that she would share his pillow but not be in his arms. She felt that, with this whole divorce situation, she couldn’t bring herself to sleep in his arms and pretend that nothing happened.

Scott reached on his side to switch the lamp next to the bed and turned his head so that his nose was buried in her hair.

As the minutes went by, Scott knew that he would be getting very little sleep tonight, and his mind started drifting to the past year’s events.

 

He had been so engrossed in coaching – she had been the one making that suggestion, but she never thought he would even think about doing it – that he had abandoned his family. The only time he would take care of his daughter, was when Tessa was working - and he was with Olivia the whole day. Taking care of his daughter and spending time with her was never an issue, and it had become his favorite part of the day. But as soon as his wife would get home from work – when it happened to be while Olivia was still awake – he would leave her with their daughter and hide in his office to continue working on some sequences. He would spend hours during the night doing research and watching videos of the program for what seemed like the millionth time.

Spending his nights in his office inevitably meant that he spent much less time with his wife, when she needed him the most. She came home exhausted, and the fact that Scott was not with her when she was relaxing, or when she was in their bed was the start of their marital problems.

This whole situation started many fights. So many that Tessa knew that as soon their daughter was out of earshot, they’d find something to argue over.

They both agreed, as soon as Olivia was born, that if they were to argue over something, they would never let their daughter witness that. It was also part of the reason why Tessa wanted a divorce. Staying in a house where the couple constantly fights was so bad for a child, she refused to bring so much negativity into their daughter’s life.

Love wasn’t an issue in their marriage. They weren’t getting divorced because they had fallen out of love. Both were still very much in love that they’d still do anything for the other. Sometimes, though, love was not enough.

And now, with the crushing news, he knew that there was no way he was leaving her. He felt like the timing couldn’t be worse. He didn’t want her to think that he refused to get a divorce because he was feeling sorry for her. He didn’t want her to think that pity was the reason he stayed.

He felt Tessa lift the sheets up to her neck and rest her chin on his shoulder. She was still asleep and looked so peaceful that it made his heart constrict.

He stared at the ceiling, dressed only in a grey tank top, and wondered where life would lead them.

* * *

 

After dropping Olivia at her grandma’s, they drove to the hospital for Tessa’s appointment with her oncologist. They were already running late and the tension was heavy.

As soon as they arrived, the doctor took them in immediately, and retrieved the last exams and blood test that she had taken a few days earlier.

“I’ve gone through the test results of your biopsy…” the doctor began and Scott grabbed Tessa’s hand tightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should i or should i not hehe
> 
> tell me what you think the results will be! tell me what you think of this fic so far as well. I love reading your comments


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short update for you, i promise the next one will be longer! 
> 
>  
> 
> thank you for your kind comments, they made me incredibly and i took note of what you guys wanted to see happen in this fic ;).
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: cancer talk and quite heavy angst!
> 
> i promise it'll get better......

_As soon as they arrived, the doctor took them in immediately, and retrieved the last exams and blood test that she had taken a few days earlier._

_“I’ve gone through the test results of your biopsy…” the doctor began and Scott grabbed Tessa’s hand tightly._

“We have found a small growth between the superior conchea and the sinoidal sinus.”

“I don’t get it.” Scott said, confused.

“Cancer.” Tessa whispered, feeling numb.

Scott felt like he couldn’t breathe. His world was falling apart and there was nothing he could do. He didn’t even hear the doctor’s explanation, he couldn’t focus on anything.

“To make it easier for you to understand, the tumor is located between your sinus and cerebrum. I’ll be honest and tell you that if we don’t start treatment soon, the tumor could develop and if it pushes into your brain, statistically there is zero chance of survival.”

Scott gasped for air, feeling like he was about to faint. He turned his head towards Tessa and squeezed her hand tighter. Her eyes locked with his and beneath the numb emotional walls she had put on, he could see how hard she was trying not to break down in the doctor’s office. He  himself, wanted to cry for the unfairness of the situation but he needed to remain calm and strong for his wife.

“What are my options?” she asked, her voice shaky.

“What we usually suggest, for this type of cancer, is either radiotherapy or an endoscopic surgery.”

“What’s the best way to fight it?” she asked.

“Well, the surgery is what works best, unfortunately, it would mean that you have to undergo chemo but you have to know that there are many side effects.” He paused to let her take in the information before continuing.

“We do have a new clinical trial, that would be a treatment with immunotherapy drug. These drugs would help your body’s immune system attack the cancer.”

“Whatever treatment plan you choose; palliative care will be important to help you relieve symptoms and the side effects that might occur.” He stopped talking and waited, knowing she would have several questions.

“I think I’d like to start with radiotherapy.”

“Isn’t the surgery more effective?” Scott asked timidly. “Which treatment would be less dangerous for her?” he chose to ignore the glare he was receiving from his wife, knowing she hated when he acted like she was not in the room.

“The surgery needs to be done by a specialist. This is still a very new treatment and not many surgeons have the ability to do it. The problem with the surgery, is that Tessa will probably need chemo. Hopefully, if she does need it, we should be able to reduce the side effects.”

“Can I think about it?” she asked in a small voice.

“Of course, you can. But the sooner we start, the better.”

“I’m just not sure if I’m strong enough to go through such heavy therapy.”

Scott’s head snapped towards her at her voice and he furrowed his brow.

“You don’t want treatment?” he couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice when he spoke the words and she winced at his tone.

“I said I wanted to think about it, Scott. We’ll talk about it later.” She gave him a look that told him that the conversation was over for now, and she turned her attention back to the doctor. Scott was sitting next to her, his mind going crazy.

* * *

 

“Tess, please don’t make a decision you’ll regret.”

“Scott, can’t you wait until we’re home to talk about this?”

“No. No, I can’t. You’re thinking about not getting any treatment and let this fucking cancer kill you. Have you even thought about Olivia?” he regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth and watched as she visibly flinched.

“Of course, I think about my daughter. This is exactly why I’m hesitant about the treatments. They are going to make me so weak, I’m gonna lose my hair, I’m going to be in this damn hospital more than I’ll be home with her. I don’t think this is a life I want my daughter to have. Honestly, Scott, you have a lot of nerves accusing me of being selfish in this decision because this is the most selfless I’ve ever been. I’m willing to give up my own life so that our daughter can be happy.”

“Your daughter can’t be happy if she loses her mother and grows up without her for the rest of her life.”

He put the key into ignition and drove to Kate’s house to get Olivia.

As soon as they arrived, he parked the car and turned to get out of the car when her words filled the small space of his car.

“I think I’m going to stay here overnight, Scott.” Her voice was almost timid, but the words still hurt him deeply.

Even though they weren’t living together anymore, he knew that she didn’t want to be around him anymore. At least for today.

“I can get Liv ready and she can go home with you, if you want?”

He shook his head and gripped his wheel, his fingers turning white.

“No, it’s fine. She is probably having dinner.” She nodded “I’d like to kiss her goodnight before I go though.”

“Of course.” They both walked towards the house, neither looking at the other, their gazes directed to their feet.

 “Scott... I don’t want you to think that you have an obligation to stay with me because of my cancer. I know that you signed the papers, and I will too. I don’t want you to think that I told you about my illness because I didn’t want these papers signed or anything.”

“What are you talking about, Tessa?” he stopped walking and grabbed her arms to stop her as well.

“I only signed them because I saw how unhappy this whole situation made you. I know your heart isn’t in this marriage anymore, Tess. I can see it in your eyes. They don’t shine as bright as they used to. That’s why I’m doing this for you, kiddo. I don’t want to get divorced. You know that, and you’ve known since the day you told me you wanted one. Your cancer won’t change anything. But married or not, I’ll still stick by your side.”

“I thought it had something to do with Lauren.” she mumbled.

“What the fuck does my attorney have to do with this?”

“You two were pretty close the other day when I came by your house.” She couldn’t help the bitterness that was present in her voice when she said the words and watched as anger filled his eyes.

“That’s fucking rich. Nothing is going on between us. She was just being friendly because she saw how much signing those damn papers affected me. I’m gonna go kiss Livia real quick and I’ll be out of your way.” He turned on his heels and knocked on the door, waiting for Kate to open it.

Tessa’s nose started bleeding…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops


	8. Chapter 8

Hi there,

Like many of you, I have been reflecting on the events from the past two days and trying to decide if I wanted to continue writing this fic or not. 

I might take a few weeks and think about everything and then I’ll either come back with another chapter and continue with the chapters (that are ready to be posted!) or just delete my work out of respect. 

Thank you for your support and love on this fic. If I don’t continue with it, just know that it was a pleasure to write this, and to read your comments. 

Much love, 

S. x


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beyond thankful for all the love I have received on my last post. I didn't know whether to continue this fic or not, but your love for this fic truly amazed me and renewed my will to continue.
> 
> I still would like to put a little disclaimer concerning the latest events: I respect Scott's new relationship and I am very happy for him. He looks so happy and that's all that should matter to us fans. Of course we all wanted Tessa and Scott to be endgame, but life doesn't always give you what you need. I love their friendship more than anything in this world, and to me it is so much more beautiful that an intimate relationship, because nothing can break this 21-year-old-friendship.   
> SO THANK YOU! I'll keep writing, while respecting tessa, scott and jackie, and this fic is definitely just FICTION. 
> 
>  
> 
> love you so much. Hope you'll like this chapter!

“Hey. Come in. Thank you for coming on such short notice.” Tessa said as she moved to let Scott into her home.

“No problem. Is everything okay? Where is Liv?” he asked, noticing that his daughter didn’t come running into his legs as soon as she heard the door open.

“I think she is still asleep.” She motioned for him to sit down, “She couldn’t stop talking about her day with you, yesterday. I had a hard time with bedtime.” She smiled fondly at him.

He smiled back and remembered the beaming smile on his daughter’s face when she hopped onto her bicycle that her daddy had gotten her. But that was before she noticed that he had taken off the stabilizers.

Then, she managed to put on her mom’s panic face and her lips started quivering when she realized that the bike wasn’t very stable unless she had her feet on the ground.

 

_“Daddy, I scared,” she said as she looked up at him with big, wet eyes and a pout forming on her tiny lips._

_“It’s okay, baby. I’m here. I won’t let you fall. Daddy is going to teach you to ride a bike on your own, just like grown-ups. Would you like that?” he knelt beside her with a smile._

_Olivia shook her head and reached her arms up to hug her father, seeking comfort from him._

_He smiled sadly and hugged her, gently caressing her soft hair, knowing that it would soothe her like it does with her mom._

_“Okay, okay. We don’t have to do it today.” He said as he pulled back and kissed his daughter’s forehead, cursing himself for making her so scared._

_“You know I wouldn’t let you fall though, right? I would be right behind you, to hold you if you’re going too fast.” He wasn’t sure if she understood him and he worried she was still too young to learn but she surprised him when she pulled back and looked down at her bike._

_“You hold my hand, daddy?”_

_“I can’t hold your hand, because your hands need to be on the handlebar, right here.” He positioned her hands on the bike. “I will hold your arm, if you want. You wanna try?” he asked gently._

_Olivia nodded shyly and gripped the wheel, her face showing her fear but also her conviction to try. She looked so much like Tessa at that moment._

_After a moment, he started loosening his hold on her and watched as she tried riding the bike by herself._

 

Tessa’s voice broke him from his reverie and brought him back to the present,

“I have a doctor’s appointment today. Would you be free to take Liv to the park? I know it’s not your day but-“

“Of course, I will. But, don’t you want me to come with you?” he asked, furrowing his brow at how she seemed to distance herself from him.

Their argument when they got back from the doctor 2 weeks ago was still weighing on their minds.

“I’d rather go alone this time,” she said shyly.

Scott pursed his lips and nodded, feeling hurt by her rejection, but knowing she needed that time alone with her doctor. He just hoped he would make her realize that fighting her cancer was important.

“Do you want me to bring her back tonight, or should I keep her overnight?”

“I think we need to talk, so maybe you should bring her back tonight and we’ll just go over… things.”

He nodded and headed towards their children’s bedroom to get her and her things. He turned at the doorway and looked into her eyes.

“Tess, I’m really sorry about the other night, I had n-“

“We’ll talk tonight,” she said softy, gesturing to Olivia’s bedroom, as if telling him she wasn’t comfortable talking about it when their child was within earshot.

He nodded again and opened the door of his daughter’s bedroom.

* * *

 

“I don’t know if I want to go through the pain that all this heavy treatment involves. But, I think I need some information and explanation on how the treatment would work. I think that could help me make my decision.” She said to her oncologist, looking down at her hands.

She felt bad for doing this to Scott and Olivia, but she needed it to be her decision.

“You have two best solutions. Either go through radiotherapy, which normally works perfectly for patients with an early stage cancer. But, surgery would be more successful and help us see if there is any remaining of the tumor that we didn’t see on the CT scan. It lets doctors look at the cancer - and nearby tissues- closely in the lab to make sure that none has been left behind. If you do have surgery to remove your cancer you may need more than one operation – one to remove the cancer and another to reconstruct the area. The second operation will depend on how deep we must go during the first surgery, so you might not need it. But in case you do, let me just give you some explanation.” He waited until she nodded to speak again.

“The reconstruction will improve the look of the area after your first operation and help you to breathe, chew and swallow more easily too.”

“Do you have questions?” the doctor asked, sensing that she was still torn.

“I don’t know what to do.” She said in a whisper. “I know Scott would never forgive me if I refused to go through the treatments. But, he won’t understand that the treatments are killing me as well. It takes so much of my energy and my mental health. I’m lost.” She hid her face in her hands and closed her eyes, trying to keep her emotions in check.

“Tessa, let me tell you something. I’ve been doing this job for decades. I saw how the people supporting ill patients behaved. Your husband is no different. He wants to be as strong as he can for you, because he knows you need his strength and reassurance to keep going. But, just know that it’s impacting him, too. A lot more than you might think. He probably just needs to let all his emotions and feelings out.”

The doctor noticed that she was on the verge of tears and placed a reassuring hand on her arm.

“I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad, Tessa. I’m just trying to make you understand that his concern over you not wanting to undergo surgery or any kind of treatment comes from the fact that he loves you, and he is scared to lose you. The decision still remains yours, though. It’s your body, your life.”

She wiped the fallen tears from her cheeks and nodded.

“I don’t want to leave him. To leave our daughter,” she said through her tears. “But I am so, so tired.” 

* * *

 

It was a little after 9pm when Tessa finally joined her husband in the living room. She had wanted to have some time with her child and tuck her in herself after having had such an emotional day.

She sat down next to him and leaned forward, placing her elbows on her thighs, her head buried in her hands. She let a long sigh and gathered her courage to face the discussion she knew they needed to have. She turned to face him and took his hand in both of hers.

“Scott... I know that we have been through a lot these past few months, and I haven’t always been very nice with you more times than I can count. Ever since you found out about my cancer, you’ve been a constant support and strength, and I can’t even begin to tell you how much this means to me.” She took a deep breath before continuing.

“You have always been my strength, you have always been the reason I would hold on. I depend on you a lot more than I probably would be comfortable with, but you’re my husband and that’s what we are supposed to do. Rely on each other. Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you, kiddo?”

Scott looked confused and waited for her to speak again.

“You don’t have to always be strong, Scott. I know you are doing all of this for me, but I need to know what your feelings about this situation are. You gotta tell me how you feel. Are you angry with me? Are you upset? Do you wish you had your freedom instead of having to stay by my side because you feel like you have to? Please talk to me.” She said hopelessly.

He gripped her hand tight and felt the sting of his tears in his eyes.

“I can’t lose you, Tessa.” He said, his voice breaking.

He was on the verge of breaking down and knew that this was what he needed. After weeks of holding everything in, he knew he needed to let everything out.

“Tess, I wish so badly I was the one with this illness instead of you. You mean so much to me, Tessa. So, so much. I can’t bear losing you, I don’t know how I would even manage.” He said as sobs wracked through his body.

“I know this is very selfish of me, but please, please don’t stop the treatments.” He said desperately, his hands holding onto her body for dear life. Tessa felt her own tears falling down her cheeks as she held him against her tightly. She was glad that he finally was able to let go of the emotions he had kept bottled in for so long.

He pulled back a bit so that his face was inches away from hers and looked into her eyes, both their faces were filled with sadness, trust and love.

“I love you so much. So, so much. I can’t even begin to imagine this life without you. I know that if you died, my first instinct would be to follow you. But this child,” he pointed to Olivia’s room, “this miracle that we made, deserves to have both her parents with her.” He wiped the tears from his face and placed his head on her shoulder, hugging her small body to him.

“Please, T. Keep fighting for her, if not for me.” He whispered against her neck.

“I will, Scott.” She finally said, and he had to pull back from the comfort of her arms to look at her face.

“Really?” he asked hopefully, his eyes filling with tears yet again.

“Yeah, my doctor and I went over the choices I had. He said that the surgery would be the best for me. I told him I wanted to talk about it with you first.” He nodded and smiled his first smile. “Scott, I want to fight this. But you have to understand that I am exhausted.”

“I will be there for you every step of the way, Tess. I promise you. I want to be here. I’m not here because I feel like I must. I’m here because I love you more than anything in this world, and I need you to get better. I’ll never stop supporting you, and I’ll always be your strength.” He told her with so much confidence in his voice.

“But Scott, I also need you to talk to me about how  _you_  are feeling. You know that if you keep everything bottled in, and you keep taking the blame for what happened to me, you’ll suffer too much. Can we please both agree to talk openly about our feelings and our fears? I need you on this with me, but I need to be 100% sure that you’ll open up to me when you’re not feeling well.”

“I will, T.” He intertwined their fingers and let his thumb caress her skin. “I feel bad for breaking down in front of you when you need me the most – I usually do it in private – but I needed it. Really.” He looked down at their joined hands until her fingers lifted his chin.

“No more hiding.” She whispered before leaning down to kiss him on the lips chastely.

“I should probably go,” he said with a sigh after checking the time.

“Wait.” She pressed a hand against his thigh to stop his movement and he looked at her expectantly.

“There is something else I need to talk to you about.” She said shyly.

He gripped her hand on his thigh and squeezed, silently telling her to go on.

“I um. My doctor suggested that-” she let out a sigh, not knowing how to bring up that subject. “I don’t know how to say this without making you feel like we  _have_  to do anything about it in the future,” she said.

“Whatever it is, just say it, baby. It’s okay.”

“My oncologist suggested that we should think about freezing my eggs in case we wanted more…children in the future.”

“More…” he was speechless. He hadn’t thought about the fact that going through these treatments would probably make her unable to conceive again.

“We don’t have to do that, Scott.” She said in a whisper. “I know we are still on a rough path and that we haven’t really talked about our future together.”

“No, but we did talk about the fact that we wanted more children.”

“Yeah,” she said in a low voice he almost didn’t hear it. Her gaze landed on her lap and she kept quiet for a moment.

He tilted her chin up to look into her eyes and smiled softly. “Is it still what you want, Tess?”

Her gaze locked onto his, she nodded firmly. Having another baby with him had been something that’d been on her mind a lot. Even with their divorce still hanging above their heads, another baby was something Tessa wanted above all.

“Then, I think you should consider this procedure.” He smiled at her.

“You want more children, wi- with me?”

“Why does that surprise you?” he chuckled.

“I haven’t been really nice with you in the past year. I thought you would hat-“

“Don’t even say that word.” He warned. “It’s my fault if you felt like a divorce was a good idea for us. My fault only. I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to prove you that I can be a better husband and father.”

“You’re an amazing father,” she answered immediately.

He smiled lovingly at her and watched her tired face longingly.

“Why don’t you go to bed, T?”

“Scott, we need to talk about this procedure. You know it can take between two to six weeks to retrieve eggs for freezing. The doctor said the sooner I got the surgery the better, but I need to make an appointment at the fertility center and-“

She kept on rambling until he put a finger on her mouth, effectively quieting her.

“We will worry about this tomorrow morning. Right now, I want you to go to bed and get some rest before our little monster wakes up and tires you out.” He smiled.

“Okay.” She finally agreed.

“You go, I’ll lock the door on my way out.” He said as he leaned forward to kiss her forehead before getting up from the couch.

“Do you have to go?” she asked shyly.

He turned and looked at her tired frame, her eyes begging him to stay.

“No. No, I don’t,” he said gently.

“I need you close to me, Scott.” She said, standing up and taking his hand, leading him to the bedroom.

* * *

Several months later, Tessa was lying in a cold room full of doctors and a highly recommended doctor, ready to fight for her future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everything is gonna be okay.....


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!!! May this new year bring you everything your heart desires.
> 
> I am back with a new chapter! 
> 
> Happy reading, and thank you a million times for your beautiful comments.

_ June, 28 _

_ Day of the surgery. _

 Tessa knew what the risks for this kind of surgery were. She was well-informed about everything that concerned her and this cancer. And yet, she couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with stress and fear.

Approximately one year ago, Tessa found out that her cancer had come back and that she’d need to go through intense and painful treatments to fight this illness.

She knew her recovery was going to be a long one. And painful.

Scott hadn’t left her side since he found out about her illness. Although they were still trying to work through their failing marriage, they both knew that they needed each other’s support during this. They had both decided to not talk about divorce or their feelings until Tessa got better. That they would focus on each other, and give the other what they needed the most; love, attention, strength and patience. Obviously, Tessa was the one who needed it the most, and Scott would never pretend that his feelings were more important than hers. But he needed her love to be his strength.

* * *

Tessa looked around the almost empty, white room she was in. This would be her room for the next few days following her surgery. The last time she ended up in a hospital room like this, she had just given birth to Olivia. The memories were still fresh on her mind and she smiled, remembering the beautiful day that had become her favourite one.

 

_Tessa was lying in the uncomfortable bed, not able to look anywhere else but into the deep blue eyes of her daughter lying in her arms. She traced the shape of the baby’s cheeks and nose with her finger and ran her hand lightly over her head. Her hair was dark like Scott’s and her nose resembled Tessa’s. She couldn’t wait to see the real colour of her eyes and her beautiful smile. She knew her child would grow up to look just like her father._

_She smiled when her daughter closed her tiny hand around her finger, and the new mom brought her hand to her lips for a soft kiss._

_“Look at you, beautiful angel. Daddy is gonna be so crazy about you, I know it.”_

_“I already am,” Scott said from the doorway._

_She reluctantly tore her eyes from her daughter and smiled up at her husband who approached his family with a beaming expression on his face._

_“How is everybody doing?” he said, taking a seat on the side of her bed, close to Tessa and their child._

_“We are doing just fine.” She said, leaning in for a kiss that he readily gave her. Her eyes went back to study her child’s face._

_The baby looked content in her mother’s warm embrace but was not ready to close her eyes just yet, to Tessa’s delight._

_“She’s beautiful, Scott.” Tessa whispered, never once looking at him._

_“She really is. She looks like you, baby.” He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the baby’s forehead who remained quiet._

_“She still doesn’t have a name, though. What do you think, mommy?”_

_Tessascooted closer to the edge of her hospital bed and motioned for Scott to sit next to her, handing him the baby as he did so. She rested her head on his shoulder and they both looked down at their miracle in awe._

_They had already chosen what her middle name would be, but her first name was still a mystery to them._

_“Remember, we had two names that we hesitated between?” she said, smiling softly as she remembered how difficult it had been for them to settle on a name they both liked for their child._

_“I know you loved the name Amy, T. I think she looks like an Amy.”_

_“I want to name her Olivia, Scott.” She said quietly._

_His head shot up and he craned his head to look at her. She lifted her head off his shoulder and gave him a shy smile._

_“Ar- are you sure? This isn’t one of the two names we had chosen.” His voice wobbled a little with emotions. This name had a huge meaning to him._

_“I know. But I also know that this name was your late friend’s favourite name, and I would like to honour her memory by naming our baby Olivia.” She paused a little, trying to find the right words. “That is, if you accept of course. I know we never mentioned this name when we were looking for one, but I remembered our conversation from last year and it just made sense to me.”_

_He cupped Tessa’s cheek in his hand, mindful of the child in his other arm and placed his forehead against hers, tears swimming in his eyes._

_“You have no idea how much I love you, T. No idea at all.” He felt a few tears trickling down his face and kissed her softly._

_He sat back up and looked down at his child, “Olivia Jade Moir. Welcome to the crazy world…”_

She was brought back when Scott entered her room. This time he wasn’t smiling and beaming; he was scared and anxious.

Tessa sat on the side of her bed, her legs dangling off the bed, and let out a deep sigh when he closed the distance between them, coming to rest between her legs and wrapping his strong arms around her small body.

She hugged him close to her, squeezing him so tightly he almost couldn’t breathe.

“The doctor will be in soon to get you for the surgery.” He said gently, still wrapped in her fierce embrace.

She turned her head so that her ear was right above his heart and closed her eyes, relaxing at the sound of his strong, fast-beating heart.

He pulled back a little to look into her eyes and could only see the fear in them.

He cupped her cheeks in his hands and made her look at him.

“I love you so much, my strong, beautiful wife. I can’t wait for all of this to be over and start anew with you. You are gonna beat this, baby. I know it. You are a fighter, T, you can do anything. You just go and fight in there and come back to me and Liv, okay?”

She nodded as tears streaming down her face.

“I love you.” He repeated, kissing every inch of her face, making her smile at last.  “I can’t wait for you to come back to us and skate with you again.”

Several minutes later, nurses entered the room with a gurney and Tessa felt her throat constrict. She quickly grabbed Scott’s hands in hers and looked up at him.

“When all of this is over, I wanna have another baby. I want a baby with you, Scott. A boy who will look just like you.”

Her words brought fresh tears to his eyes and he nodded, unable to say a word because he knew he would break down and he didn’t want to do that with her still in the room. He would patiently wait to be alone to do just that.

He placed a long, lingering kiss on her forehead and watched as they wheeled away the love of his life. His heart went with her.

The only reason why it took so long for Tessa to get the surgery, was because she had decided to freeze her eggs so that they could try to have other children in the future, after her recovery.

This procedure was a long one and Tessa wanted to have multiple tries in case one wasn’t enough.

Although they were still on the verge of separation, there has never ever been a doubt about whether or not there’d be another child in the future. Just as there’s never been a doubt about who the father of that child would be. She would never even consider having a baby with someone other than Scott.

* * *

Tessa was now lying in a cold room, surrounded by nurses and surgeons and a highly recommended one, who could perform this highly difficult surgery.

She closed her eyes, slowly losing consciousness, ready to fight for her life…

* * *

 

Days in Toronto in July were the hottest, almost to the point of being unbearable.

Scott had decided to take Olivia outside to walk around the park near the hospital because he didn’t want her wandering among the walls and corridors of the hospital. It was no place for a child. 

He decided today would be her day, he would give her anything she wanted, and that obviously included ice cream.

As they walked towards the playground in the park – stopping several times because Liv wanted to pet the dogs that were walking with their masters – the little girl looked up at her dad with her mother’s green eyes and asked him the question he had wished she’d never ask.

“Why is mommy sick?” she asked with a pout that she had also perfected thanks to her mother.

“Mommy is going to be okay, she has a very bad headache right now.” He placed his fingers on the child’s forehead, “she’s hurt here so when you see her again later, you should give her a kiss right here to make her feel better. Sounds good?”

The little girl nodded, unconvinced, and quickly finished her ice cream so that she could play in the playground.

* * *

 

Scott’s head shot up as soon as he heard the doors open, seeing Tessa’s doctor finally coming out.

He carefully lifted Olivia, who had fallen asleep against him, and stood up to walk towards him.

“How is Tessa? How did the surgery go?”

“It went really well, Mr. Moir. Your wife was very lucky, her tumour being smaller than expected, we were able to perform what is called an endoscopic nasopharyngectomy. This type of surgery is a much less invasive procedure than the one we originally planned because the surgeon does not have to make incisions on the face. We are gonna keep her under observation a bit longer and she’ll be back in her room in about 2 hours.” The doctor explained everything Scott needed to know.

Scott let out a sigh of relief and all the tension left his body.

“How long will you keep her in the hospital?” he asked, rubbing Olivia’s back as she began to stir against his shoulder.

“We usually let people go home after a day or two, but we’d like to keep her longer and do another MRI and CT scan as soon as she’s recovered. There might be a chance we’d still need to go through chemoradiotherapy in case there are remnants of the tumour.”

The doctor motioned for Scott to sit down before he sat next to him.

“Of course, your wife might feel some pain for a while after the operation, but since she’s not allergic to any medication, we’ll make sure it’s controlled with medicines. The pain could mainly be in her nose area.”

Scott nodded, trying to remember everything he was being told. He knew his wife had been very lucky this time, but he promised to himself that he wouldn’t leave her side.

 

* * *

The two and half hours that followed were the longest, maddening hours of his life.

Liv had just woken up from her nap, now laying in her mother’s hospital bed and playing with her mom’s jacket.

When they wheeled Tessa back to her room, she was still unconscious, but the doctor told him she’d woken up a few minutes ago but had fallen straight back to sleep, clearly exhausted from the surgery.

Scott picked his daughter from her mom’s bed, but the little girl wanted to climb back, next to her mother who was deep in slumber.

“I wanna lay with mommy.” She said with a pout and watery eyes.

“Okay, but mommy is sleeping and still has a headache, promise you’ll be very careful?”

The little girl eagerly nodded and Scott placed the child carefully on the bed, next to her mom.

Olivia crawled next to her, laying against her mother’s side as carefully as possible for a child this age, and lifted Tessa’s limp hand, wrapping it around herself. She closed her eyes and put her thumb into her mouth. Her lips forming a small grin around her finger as she smiled up at her dad.

He then heard a knock on the door and turned to find Kate at the doorway.

“I’m not really allowed to be here, because she needs her rest, but I really couldn’t stay away any further.” She said as she embraced her son in law.

“Thank you for coming. They said she would wake up very soon. She’ll be happy to see you.”

Kate nodded and waved at the little girl who was not leaving her mother’s side.

Olivia waved back and placed her hand around Tessa’s neck protectively.

The little girl felt her mother’s arm around her tighten and looked up to see her mom’s green eyes opening slowly.

She smiled so big, her tiny cheeks hurt, and she pushed herself up to give her mom a sloppy kiss on the mouth.

“Welcome back,” Tessa’s said, taking his wife’s hand into hers.

Tessa smiled at Olivia and turned her attention towards Scott, a look of confusion and ignorance crossing her features; freezing Scott’s blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reviews are my favourite thing to read! please tell me your thoughts!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amnesia?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I am back already!!
> 
> This is my last chapter that I was ahead of writing, the upcoming chapters have not been written yet so it might take a tad bit longer! But we still have a looooong way to go!
> 
> Thank you ever again for your beautiful comments.

_Tessa smiled at Olivia and turned her attention towards Scott, a look of confusion and ignorance crossing her features; freezing Scott’s blood._

“What am I doing here, Scott? What happened to me?” she asked, her eyes darting from his face to her mother’s.

“You- you don’t remember?” Kate asked, walking to her daughter’s bedside, now standing next to Scott.

“No,” she looked up at her husband with fear in her eyes, seeking comfort and reassurance that she knew she could only find in his gaze.

He quickly took the hand that wasn’t holding their daughter and squeezed it gently, immediately feeling her grip his hand tightly in return.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” he asked gently, his thumb caressing the soft skin on her hand to try and help her relax.

“We were going to Disneyland? I don’t know Scott, tell me what happened!” she was becoming agitated, clearly upset and confused as to why she was lying in a hospital bed and couldn’t remember any of it.

She started raising her voice, immediately startling the child in her arms, who whimpered.

Scott sat on the bed and ran his hand through his daughter’s hair, his other hand tucking a strand of hair behind Tessa’s ear.

“Okay baby, calm down. It’s okay.”

Tessa didn’t know who he was talking to, but the words helped both her and her child relax a bit.

“You are in the hospital because you had a surgery to remove your tumor. Do you remember now?”

Tessa shook her head slightly, wincing at the pain it caused.

“Is this why I can’t breathe through my nose and feel like I’m going to throw up any second now?” she groaned, placing her hand over her forehead.

“Probably, yes. I’m gonna get the doctor and see if he can give you some pain killers, baby.” He assured her.

He bent down and kissed her forehead gently, lingering for a moment. Seeing his wife in so much pain was killing him.

“It’s okay, Scott, I’ll go get him.” Kate told him.

She took her daughter’s free hand and squeezed it.

“No, Kate, stay with your daughter. She needs you right now. I have several questions to ask him anyways, so it’ll take a moment before we come back.”

Kate nodded and smiled gratefully at her son in law.

 

She has always had a soft spot for him, and that was because she knew that he was always there for her daughter. To support, love, protect and respect her.

Scott Moir had stolen her daughter’s heart and there was nothing she could do about it. Nothing but be very happy about it.

Their wedding had taken everyone by surprise. Her daughter and Scott had been together for as long as she could remember. They had grown even closer and had become lovers long before they decided retire and go separate ways professionally, but since that day, several years ago, they had become more and more attached to the other, and decided to move in together.

Two years later, she was working in a field that was not related to skating in any way, and he was coaching younger teams, and that was when he decided to propose.

They were on vacation in New York City, visiting the city where he had rented a beautiful apartment for the week, with a breathtaking view. At the end of their last day in the city, he planned a dinner on the balcony of their room and proposed to her that night. It was a simple night, but Kate recalled her daughter saying that it was the most beautiful and romantic day of her life.

 

She broke out of her reverie when Scott spoke again.

“Livvy, do you wanna come with me, or do you wanna stay here with mommy?” he asked gently, caressing his daughter’s back.

The child was still lying on her mother’s side, her small hand tightly gripping Tessa’s neck while her other hand played with her mom’s silk hair.

The couple had remarked that she always played with Tessa’s hair when she was either very tired, sad or scared. He knew that she must have been feeling all three emotions today and it broke his heart.

“No, daddy. I’m staying with mommy to take care of her. You go and come back soon.” She said calmly.

Sometimes he couldn’t believe how smart his 4-year-old child was. But then again, she was Tessa’s baby. She was growing up to be a very intelligent, beautiful and stubborn girl.

He smiled at her and kissed her cheek.

“That’s a very nice idea, baby. You take good care of your mommy and I will be right back.”

He then bent down again towards Tessa, placing a soft kiss on her lips and feeling her smile into the contact. It was the first real smile he had gotten from her since she woke up and the sight made his heart full.

He then left the room to look for the doctor.

* * *

 

The doctor assured Scott that temporary memory loss and difficulties to breathe through the nose were expected to happen after the surgery. Thankfully, Tessa wasn’t hurting as much because they were able to do a very much less invasive surgery than the one originally planned, and she wouldn’t need a plastic surgery to repair the damage that would have been caused by the first one.

After checking her vitals and asking her several questions to judge how bad her memory loss was at the moment, he told the couple that she would be able to go home in a few days, but that she would need to come back for another scan to see if she would need radiotherapy or if the tumor was totally gone.

When he finally left, Tessa’s eyes were growing heavy and Kate decided to take Olivia home with her for the night.

“Come on, princess, come with grandma. Let’s let mommy have some rest and we’ll come back to see her later, okay?”

The little girl’s eyes widened, and she tightened her hold on her mother.

“No. I don’t wanna leave mommy,” her lips quivered, and Scott knew this meant she was on the verge of throwing a tantrum.

“Mommy needs rest, baby. How about we go home and take  _Cookie_ with us? We can’t leave him by himself, can we?” she smiled down at her granddaughter and wished that the mention of the dog would be enough to take her away from her ill mother.

Olivia sighed and sat up on the hospital bed.

“Daddy is going to take care of you, mommy. And I will take care of  _Cookie_.” She said in her best 4-year-old voice.

“You are a very brave girl, darling. You do that, and I will see you later.” She said, her voice cracking slightly.

Tessa kissed her daughter’s forehead and watched Scott doing the same before she and Kate disappeared through the door, the child already chattering excitedly about their dog.

Scott turned to his wife and sat on her bed, tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear. She decided it was something he was finding comfort in doing; taking care of his sick wife made him feel less helpless than he already felt.

“How are you feeling?” he asked gently, his voice so soft and loving that it almost brought tears to her eyes.

“So tired,” she sighed and tugged at his hand, bringing him closer to her. “I just really want you to hold me, Scott.”

“That’s a very small bed you have, gorgeous.” He teased, caressing the soft skin of her cheeks.

“Who you calling gorgeous?” she rolled her eyes and smiled at him “I must look like a zombie.”

“You look amazing. You’re beautiful, T. And so strong. You amaze me, baby.” He looked at her with so much love and admiration that she couldn’t help the tears this time.

“Please don’t make me cry, it hurts so much,” she put her hand on her forehead to try and breathe through the pain. It was still impossible for her to breathe through her nose, but the painkillers were helping at least. “please, lay down with me, Scott.”

“Tell me if I hurt you,” she scooted closer to the edge of the bed and waited for him to lay down on his side before scooting back and into his open arms.

He was mindful of the medical stuff attached to her body as he pulled her closer to him, his nose burying in her hair and inhaling the lingering scent of her own perfume that was covered by the hospital chemical odors, to his dismay.

He kissed her there and relaxed on the small bed, smiling as she intertwined their fingers that were resting against her flat stomach.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” He said after some time.

“I’m not leaving you anytime soon.” She said, slowly drifting off.

“I hope not. I need you more than anything in this life.” He kissed her neck and tightened his hold on her.

“Scott?”  she asked sleepily.

“mm?”

“Did I tell you I wanted to have another baby before I went in for surgery?”

He smiled and felt a weight being lifted off his chest. He didn’t know if he would have brought up the subject, hadn’t she remembered that conversation.

“You remember,” he sighed happily.

“I remember, and I meant it.”

“We have all the time in the world to talk about it. Right now, I want you to close your gorgeous eyes and go to sleep.”

He stroked her hair the way he always did because he knew it was soothing her and listened as her breath evened out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehehe
> 
>  
> 
> Also: I’m thinking about starting another multi-chap fic after this one so start giving me fic plots!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me quite some time to write this newest chapter but I am back! Hope you're still interested in this fic.
> 
> This is not beta'd and -- for the record -- english is definitely not my native language, but a girl is trying!
> 
> Love

Nearly two weeks after the surgery, Tessa was able to go home. The doctors had decided to keep her longer than anticipated to make sure all the tests she did, came back clear.

She was so glad to be out of the hospital, in the comfort of her home… Or, more precisely, of hers and Scott’s former home.

After the doctor had told Tessa it would be better if she stayed with someone for a few days --  just in case she felt bad from the new meds he had given her -- Scott had insisted Tessa comes home with him for a few days – weeks – so that he could keep an eye on her. At first, Tessa had refused, stating that she would stay with her mother, who had readily agreed. But Scott insisted, and after a few arguments, she reluctantly agreed. She was still hesitant because she didn’t want Olivia to think her parents were living together again, but she also couldn’t refuse his help after he so willingly volunteered.

The first day back at, now _his_ , house was awkward. She wasn’t used to being around Scott in the privacy of their home. It felt so weird to be in the place they had called home for so many years, the place where they raised their child, where they made memories – some really beautiful ones and some bad ones.

She looked around and noticed that not many things had changed. There were still all the pictures from their weddings hanging on the walls, still the beautiful framed picture of them during the Vancouver Olympics that her mother loved so much.

She then noticed the gorgeous peonies sitting in a vase on the coffee table, seemingly bought very recently, and Tessa’s breath caught in her throat. Peonies were her favourites, and knowing that Scott probably bought them for her made her feel quite emotional.

“Do you like them?” Scott’s soft voice broke the silence, startling Tessa. She turned around and saw Scott leaning on the doorframe of their living room. Her gaze lingered on his, neither uttering a single word before she walked towards him and wrapped her arms tightly around him, losing herself in the warmth and comfort of his arms. 

“Thank you for doing this, Scott. I appreciate it so much more than you could ever realize.” He knew she wasn’t only referring to the flowers and he tightened his hold around her, showing her how grateful he was to have her here – in their home – with him.

When they broke apart, he smiled at her and squeezed her hand that was still holding his. “Your room is ready, I put your suitcase there. You can take a shower and relax before dinner, if you’d like, you must be exhausted.”

And she was. She hadn’t slept well during her stay at the hospital, constantly worrying about her daughter. And she also missed the comfort of her home, her bed.

“What time is your mom bringing Olivia home?” she asked instead, not feeling like resting until she saw and held her child.

“Around 6pm.” Tessa looked at the clock on the wall and sighed heavily “You still got an hour and a half until she gets here. Go relax, T.”      

She finally relented and went in for a quick shower before settling back on the couch where he was seated, watching the news on TV. She immediately scooted closer to his warmth as soon as he opened his arms for her.

The sound of his heartbeat under her ear soothed her and almost lulled her to sleep when he finally spoke up, effectively breaking the comfortable silence.

“I-uh, I have a competition thing in a week that I can’t really miss…” he started, not really knowing how to bring it up to her.

“Oh? That’s nice. When is it exactly, and where?”

“It’s next Friday. It’s in Madrid.” He let out a sigh and started threading his fingers through her hair. “I’m sorry, T. If I could, I honestly would stay with you and Liv.” He said sadly.

Tessa let out a sigh and sat up, looking up at him. “Scott, I know we are on a very complicated path in our relationship and that it was partly caused by your work, but I would never, ever keep you from going away for a competition or anything. I know what your job requires, I knew it from the beginning. And it is definitely not the reason why I think our marriage took a wrong turn. Please don’t ever feel guilty for having to go away for your job. Of course, I don’t like it. I hate when you are away from me, from us. But it’s your job, your passion…”

“Then what is the problem that caused our relationship to take such a wrong turn, T? Help me understand, I really wanna do anything to make it all better.”

“Scott, we shouldn’t talk about this now. We agreed to not bring it up until after my full recovery.” She sighed, distancing herself further from him, to his dismay.

“I know, Tess, I know. It’s just- you sort of blamed my work for being the reason why our marriage failed and now you’re saying it’s not because of that, so I just wanna understand. It’s like I can’t read you anymore…”

“It’s not your work in itself that made you distance yourself from your family. If anything, you being away for competition made us grow closer because we would always facetime and stuff. I guess it’s just- the only very few time you are at home, you are just not mentally present. You always spend hours, nights on your computer, trying to break down every single move in the choreography. And it takes so much of your time. I mean, you sometimes spend the whole day at the rink and when you come home, you go on your computer to further work on work-related stuff. Scott, you need to understand that we miss you. You might be here physically, but you are not with us.”

Scott felt like he had the weight of the whole world on his shoulders, but he was glad Tessa was finally letting out all the blames and worries she had kept so bottled in until now. Now that he knew what the problem was, he was ready to do things differently. For his wife, for his family.

He had never realized how much he really was obsessed with his work, and with the choreography that he wanted to be perfect. He never realized how much that had impacted his relationship with Tessa until she told him she was tired of feeling lonely and left out.

They used to do everything together. Even at the beginning of his career as a coach, Tessa would often help him with programs and choreographies. Having her by his side like that was so refreshing and he missed those times. He was willing to change. He was willing to do everything it took for Tessa to feel loved and respected.

“Scott… I don’t need you to change anything in who you are. You are who you are, and that’s who I fell in love with. All I asked was for some time with my husband and my daughter without having to constantly hear about work stuff.”

“Tessa, I promise you, as soon as you are all healed, we will make it work. I will leave work at work and I will be more present for my wife and my children. I promise.”

It didn’t escape Tessa’s mind that he said ‘children’ instead of ‘child’ and it took everything in her not to let her emotions overwhelm her.

She didn’t have time to answer, when the front door opened and her child finally appeared before her.

“Mama!” the little ran as fast her little legs could take her and Scott quickly lifted her before she collided against Tessa’s weak body. He placed their child between them and Olivia crawled to her mom’s lap, wrapping her tiny arms around Tessa’s neck and holding her as tight as she could.

“Oh, I missed you so much, baby girl. So, so much.” Tessa breathed in the lingering scent of her daughter’s strawberry shampoo and her body immediately relaxed.

“Hi Alma,” Tessa said softly when her mother-in-law walked into the living room.

She made a move to get up, but Alma immediately halted her movements before leaning down and hugging her.

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Alma asked as she moved to kiss her son’s cheek.

“Still tired, but much better now that I’m home- I mean out of the hospital.” It wasn’t really her home anymore…

After spending some quality time with her family over dinner, Tessa helped Scott tuck their child in bed before heading to bed herself. It was only 9pm, but she was exhausted and her meds made her quite sleepy.

The thing was, she didn’t know how she was gonna be able to fall asleep tonight. Scott had insisted she takes his bed – their former bed – instead of the one in their guest room because they both knew how uncomfortable it was. Tessa couldn’t accept because she just knew she would be unable to sleep in a bed with sheets that smell like Scott. But she also knew that arguing with Scott over something that involved her health or comfort was a lost cause.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a knock. She turned around to see Scott standing at the door, her favourite blanket in his arms.

“It feels so weird being here,” she admitted softly.

“It feels weird seeing you standing here,” he said just as softly. “But it also feels quite nice, if I’m honest.”  

She didn’t know what made her ask that, but she couldn’t help the words that came next,

“Can you stay with me, until I fall asleep?” she closed her eyes, immediately regretting it. “I’m -I’m sorry, I don’t know why I-“

“Climb in, T. Of course, I’ll stay with you.”

She gave him a sheepish smile and climbed on what has always been ‘her side’. She had changed into pants that she kept here and a shirt that belonged to Scott, but the comfort of his arms was all the warmth she needed.

He turned off the lights and climbed in beside her, his arms immediately reaching out for her.

She scooted closer and let out a sigh once she was finally in his embrace. She closed her eyes and willed the constant pain to go away.

Scott, always sensing her discomfort, pulled her closer. “Are you sore? Did you take your meds?”

“I did take them, before dinner. I guess it takes some time to take effect.”

He kissed her right between her eyebrows and she closed her eyes, her whole body relaxing under his tender touch.

* * *

* * *

After spending two restless hours tossing around in Scott’s bed, Tessa finally got up and went in search of pain relievers. The pain in her nose area had become too much and made it quite difficult for Tessa to breathe. She knew that if she didn’t calm down soon and focused on her breathing, she would start to panic and hyperventilate. So, she did the only thing that she knew would help. She downed two pills and reached for her phone, dialling the number of the only person she knew would help her through it.

If was away in Madrid for the competition, and she knew it was around 10pm where he was right now, but she also knew he would answer the phone even if it was 3 in the morning.

“Tess? Isn’t it a bit late for you to call me?” he asked in a half-teasing tone, knowing that it was well past 4am where she was but also knowing that she was a restless sleeper.

She didn’t answer but he could hear her ragged breaths and the sobs she was so desperately trying to hide from him.

“Tessa, what is it? Are you okay?” he asked worriedly. He sat up in his bed and pressed his phone more firmly against his ear.

“It hurts so much, Scott,” she said, her breathing quickening and threatening to make her start hyperventilating.

“Baby, calm down, okay? It will hurt less if you calm down a bit,” his soothing tone didn’t help as she was starting to feel the impending panic attack course through her.

“I ca- I can’t.” she sobbed.

“Tessa, listen to me, okay?” he started breathing loudly, accentuating the way he breathed so that she could hear through the phone, “Breathe with me, T. Just like we would do before competition. Match your breathing with mine, my love.”

Tessa tried to breathe in sync with Scott and it took her longer than usual to get her heartbeat to calm down, but after some time, she was finally able to calm down and the pain lessened.

She let out a sigh of relief and could hear Scott do the same.

“That’s it, kiddo, deep breaths. Are you feeling better?”

“I am. I wish you were with me,” she said and immediately wished she didn’t. She knew he would feel bad and saying those words didn’t help at all.

Scott let out a deep sigh and she could picture him running a hand through his hair – her way to know he was upset.

“I wish I was with you, too, Tess. Why don’t you take some meds and I’ll stay with you on the phone until you fall asleep?” he said gently, scooting closer to the headboard so that his back was pressed against it.

“I already took some before calling you,” she said as she made herself comfortable in the sheets that smelled like Scott.

She took a deep breath and the lingering scent of his perfume on the pillow invaded her lungs. That fact only helped her relax a bit more.

“Okay, now close your eyes, baby. Keep breathing with me through the phone and think about our baby girl taking her very first skating classes next week, that will help take your mind off the pain,” he said and Tessa smiled at the thought.

“I love you so much…” was the last thing she heard before falling into dreamland, Scott’s breaths lulling her to a deep, rested sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any ideas to help the fam improve her story?   
> Give me everything you have, i LOVE ideas, comments, kudos, critics....


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> is this thing still on?

After a trip to Madrid for a  competition  that Scott couldn’t miss, today was finally  the day he was flying home to Tessa and Olivia. The trip that was supposed to last a week at most, ended up being a three-week trip. 

Due to weather conditions, all of Scott’s flights had been cancelled for two whole weeks, making him unable to fly back home to his family. Needless to  say  that he was painfully nervous about leaving Tessa by herself with Olivia for so long when she was still recovering. Despite her telling him that everything was fine, Scott couldn’t help but worry. 

He just wanted to go home. He wanted to take both his girls into his arms and never let go. Three weeks without them, with only occasional Facetime calls, was unbearable. But, if anything, the distance made their bond grow stronger. He just couldn’t wait to get home to Tessa.

He knew that they still had so much to talk about, and he had spent the last two weeks constantly  thinking  about everything they needed to talk about. He knew that what was to come would be just painful conversations, but he was also ready to do whatever it took to make their marriage work.

The separation had been the most painful thing he ever had to go through, but it helped him reflect on everything he had done wrong. He was just ready to work things out with Tessa and be a family again. However long that might take. 

As he waited for the plane to land, he groaned at the long taxi trip that he still had between the airport and his home and it felt like days until he could finally see Tessa and his child again. He wanted nothing more than to just cuddle with them and breathe in his wife’s scent. 

As soon as everyone started getting up to head to the exit of the plane, he jumped up as well and hurried through the crowd. He knew this was one of Tessa’s pet-peeve, considering he was seated at the far end of the plane, but he couldn’t wait another second. He wanted to hop into the first taxi he could catch and head home. 

What he didn’t expect to see though, when he found himself at the airport lobby, was to find a dark-haired, green-eyed little girl running to him and screaming the one word he so desperately longed to hear after three long weeks.

* * *

 

Tessa kept checking her watch every thirty seconds as she walked around the airport main area, holding Olivia’s hand as the little girl skipped excitedly. 

The little girl had been told by her mother that her daddy was coming home today and Liv just couldn’t stop jumping around. 

Tessa had decided to come to the airport to surprise him, mainly because she couldn’t stand waiting for him at home. When she told Olivia that they would go see the planes and surprise daddy, the little girl had squealed and readily put her shoes on, not knowing that they still had 5 hours to wait. 

Now, as she not-so-patiently waited for her husband to come out, she just couldn’t help the nervous excitement that filled her. Three weeks was a lot. They both had time for self-reflection and to truly think about what they wanted their future to look like. Those three weeks have also helped them grow stronger as individuals as well as together. She didn’t know if she could call them a ‘couple’ yet, but she certainly hoped that the aftermath of their deeply-awaited, dreaded conversation would lead to them getting back together. 

She was glad that Scott had realized how much his past  behaviour  had hurt their family and she also knew that she was to blame. She would never let him take all the blame in their failing marriage. The conversation hadn’t yet happened, but Tessa knew that everything would be okay, eventually.

She looked up as a big group of people came out of the lobby leading from the plane to the main area of the airport and squinted her eyes, trying to find her husband among the crowd. 

When she spotted him, she felt her heart stop and then start again, beating furiously. She looked down at her daughter, who was amazed by the way her new bracelet that lit up every time  she moved her wrist. Tessa chuckled and gently squeezed Olivia’s hand to get her attention. 

“Look who is there, baby.” 

Olivia looked up and looked to where Tessa was pointing, her face lighting up as soon as she spotted her daddy. Tessa walked them closer, not wanting to release her daughter’s hand yet, despite Olivia trying to break free of her mother’s grasp, because there was just so many people. When they got close enough and the crowd was smaller, she quietly told Olivia to go get her daddy.

Scott was oblivious to  them,  staring at his phone, probably texting Tessa.  

His head shot up when he heard little feet running towards him and a huge “Daddy!”  coming from the little girl he’d missed so incredibly much.

His eyes widened and then became suspiciously wet as he caught sight of Olivia and Tessa just a few feet behind. He let go of his suitcase and knelt down to welcome his baby’s little arms around his neck. She came crashing against him and he returned the hug readily, revelling in her baby scent.

“Daddy,” she whispered against his chest, squeezing him tightly, scared that if she let go he would disappear. 

Scott closed his eyes and enjoyed this amazing reunion with his baby girl before standing up, with Olivia in his arms and locking eyes with his wife. She, too, had tears in her eyes and he extended an arm towards Tessa, beckoning her to come closer. 

She quickly waited into his waiting embrace and her arms found their way around him, Olivia in the middle. 

Scott’s face found its way in the crook of her neck and she felt him take a deep breath. Her scent intoxicated him and his whole body relaxed at the familiar smell of her filled his senses. He was finally home. 

After a moment, they broke apart, not before Scott giving Tessa a longing kiss on the forehead. Olivia refused to let go of him and kept her arms firmly around her father, her head comfortably resting on his shoulder. 

“Welcome home,” Tessa said, taking his carry-on as he grabbed his suitcase again. 

“It feels so good to be home.”

* * *

 

As Scott had hoped, the family of three spent the rest of the day cuddling on the couch, with Olivia refusing to let go of her daddy and constantly telling him about everything that’s happened to her while he was away. From playing with Poppy with the new Tessa barbie, to Tessa taking her to the zoo and her having a sleepover at ‘Grandma Al’, Scott got to hear every single thing his child had been up to. And with her child-like language, everything was just that much funny and cute. 

After putting her to bed, Scott came back to the living room, to find Tessa sitting there, a blanket now covering her thighs and two glasses of wine sitting on the coffee table, waiting for them. 

He was so ready to unwind and spend some quality time with Tessa. He wanted to hear all about what  _ she  _ has been up to during his trip. She lifted the blanket and placed it softly over him as soon as he sat down next to her. He was so close now and all she wanted was to curl up next to him and fall asleep in his arms. 

Scott took both glasses, giving Tessa hers and took a long sip, enjoying the way the alcohol, as well as Tessa’s presence, helped him relax. 

“How are you feeling, T?” he asked seriously now that their child wasn’t around. 

Tessa gave him a small smile and took a sip before placing the glass down in front of her. 

“I’m tired but good. I went to my doctor two days ago for a check-up and he said that everything was going accordingly.” 

“I wish I could have gotten back when I was supposed to, to give you a break. Now that I’m here though, you get to rest as much as you want.” 

“Scott, I'm fine. I feel tired but not overly so. Truly. We missed you so incredibly much but everything went pretty well with Olivia.” she said.

“I missed you guys, too.” he sighed. “I never want to be away from you again.” 

“Look on the positive side, if anything, this time away brought us much closer. Though we still need to talk.” 

“Yeah. Not tonight though.”

Tessa shook her head vigorously.

“Definitely not tonight. I’m too tired to even talk.”

“You should go to bed, T. I’ll clean up down there.”

“Tomorrow. Please, I really need to be in your arms tonight, Scott.” she said shyly. 

She didn’t say it with fear of him blaming himself, but being away from Scott while fighting for her illness had proven to be incredibly hard and she needed the comfort of his arms and his reassuring, soft words in her ear tonight. She knew there was a lot to unfold, still, but just like the dishes, talking could wait until tomorrow.

Scott seemed to sense the unspoken words and quickly agreed, turning off the TV and the lights, and following her to their bedroom. 

After taking their turns in the bathroom and Tessa checking on Olivia one more time, they both climbed into bed, each on their respective sides and lay facing one another, neither talking. 

Scott smiled gently at her and opened his arms for her to settle against his chest. 

She circled her arms around his torso and her head found its way on his chest. She closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh, feeling her body finally relaxing after weeks, even months. 

Reminiscing the last few months, she couldn’t help the very few tears that escaped her eyes. She couldn’t explain where they came from but she knew she needed a good cry.

Scott felt the few droplets on his chest and tightened his hold around her, bringing his face closer to hers.

“It’s okay, T. I know it’s been a tough few months. You can cry as much as you want. You’re safe with me.” he said soothingly.

He felt her body start shaking as her quiet sobs overtook her. She gripped him as if her life depended on it while he just whispered comforting words to her. He kept murmuring how much he loved her and how strong she was and Tessa’s heart broke all over again, thinking that she really had been about to divorce this incredible man. 

“I love you too, Scott. Always have and always will,” she said sleepily once she calmed down. 

Her hold on him didn’t lessen as she fell asleep to the sound of his beating heart under her ear. 

The last thing she felt was the soft weight of his lips against her forehead as she fell into dreamland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for how long it took me to update, oh my God. I hope you remember this story!
> 
> This is more of a transition chapter so I hope you still liked it. Tried to make it fluffy a bit.
> 
> Last thing: you may have noticed that the chapter count was officially set. A few more chapters to go!   
> Thank you to those who are still reading, I can't wait to read your amazing comments.

**Author's Note:**

> don't hate me just yet.
> 
> english is not my native language
> 
> REVIEWS VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.


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